Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dear inter religious marraige aspiring candidates,

Kindly discuss the following before proceeding to the next level.(from deciding to get married to presenting the case to the parents.

1. Please list down what all problems may arise in your actual marriage procedure.Will you guys be able to deal with going along with any one procedure?If so which one?

2. Which religion will the child follow?

3.Will anyone of you be asked to change religion?How will you deal with it.Will you support each other?If you wont be able to,please atleast be honest.

4.Please find the actual legal procedure for marraige.I know a situation in which  a guy and girl were going to register a marriage and were going to live together but they had never heard of the Special marraige act which is the only act with which they can marry in India.I cannot think of the consequences if they had been that stupid.When you are going for something like this you are not allowed to be stupid.

5.When you tell your parents they will be excessively hurt.Will you be able to deal with that?

6.Mainly, will you both support each other's individuality come what may?

7.How important is religion in both of your lives? Are you willing for both the religions to exist in the same house peacefully?You might have to change some of your principles for your partners happiness .Can you willingly do such small compromises?

8.In the worst case and you are not able to convince the parents , the marraige may be tough on both of you.How will it be difficult? How will you deal with it?

9. Your children may show an inclination to one of your religions.Will you try to influence him to your religion than your partner's?How will you bring up the child?

PLEASE, please discuss these issues before presenting to your parents.These are not easy things to deal with , they will recur again and again and again but it is necessary to know what comes ahead before putting a lot of people's emotions in a whirl.It's not necessary to reach a conclusion for everything but you guys should have an idea of what to expect.

If you don't gel together you will know after 10-15 discussions and you can part mutually without any harm done .And if you do gel together you will know you are stronger now than before to deal with what comes in the way.

If consenting for a love marraige is difficult for the parents it will be even more difficult for them to see the marraige break.Spare them that pain atleast.They would have to face a lot of opposition as well. Obivously there will come times when one has to make the ones they love, suffer. At least let the pain not be in-vain.

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