Sunday, February 19, 2012

Belonging Somewhere.

Edited to add on 25.02.2012 : This post does not deal with child abuse.  If you have come here thinking it does, then I am sorry to disappoint you. It does not. It's a random musing about my country. Some people don't get it. I hope you do.

The Italian navy personnel who killed two fishermen in Kerala (on a hunch that the fishermen were pirates) are being asked to be let off. Thank God It's not happening as yet. The Indian couple in Norway who have lost their kids to Norwegian government which did not take into consideration the cultural difference ;Our government is not doing anything but diplomatic talks. The children are living as orphans when they have a huge family here, in India. Apparently they would be given to foster parents because the mother is in depression. What kind of nonsense is that? Then treat the mother and give her the children back. Or atleast give to a family members here in India. How much trauma will a mother or children or the family endure, all because they chose to go to another country? Would any country do this to America. or China. Will America sit quiet if her citizen is suffering in any other country?

 I love my country a lot. It is the best and God willing I will be buried here in her soil. But how can She even hope to be a world power, if her Goverment can't defend the public who voted them into power?

Many a times have people asked me, with two sisters in the Middle East why not try a job there. It used to be the haven for civil engineers. Money is good in The US , Australia, why not try there. No Never. God forbid, I and my husband have to leave our country to earn money somewhere else. Here for all it's problems, for all it's dirt and inaccuracies, this is my country. I am the second citizen here(first citizen being the president). This has been my blood, my bread and butter. This is where I learnt to survive, which gave me my education and now its time to give something back. But most of all, here I am  a citizen, not an immigrant not an expatriate, this is where I belong. I cannot be more safe anywhere else, than I am here. You do not run from home if it is infested with rats, You call an exterminator.

I will let you on in a secret.  I do not have voting rights yet. Three times I have gone for it and three times something came up and I had to leave the process in the middle. I did not care. More than not caring I actually did not want to have any part in selecting politicians. Politics was something I didn't like. I felt all of them are same. But now I have changed my mind. You need to vote even if it is to choose the lesser evil. You need to be a part of this country's decisions too. Before this year ends, God willing I will have my voting rights and I will Vote.


  1. I just hope there is justice delivered to the fisherman's families.. if the same people had committed the crime in their homeland they would be behind bars.. really its time that the govt stands up for such acts..
    i voted for the first time last elections:),, atleast like you said chose the lesser of the evils..

  2. Rahmath: social services will not come and knock at your door without a reason. Why did they come to the Indian couple's home? There has to be some reason. (Yes I am aware that Norwegian social services have a reputation of taking children away from their parents for any number of silly reasons.but for them to be involved in the first place is the question that needs to be answered.)
    We have social protect children. I am happy I live outside India/Malaysia..Children are systematically abused by their parents and families in india/Malaysia and their voices are never heard..there is no one to for your question if the same can happen to Children from other countries, Currently an Aussie child is living in a US foster home. He was taken by the child services while his family ( all Aussies) was on holiday in US because FBI was worried about the child's parents abusing him.

  3. Hello Sarah,
    First of all , thanks for the comment.

    If i remember right,....The older child's teacher complained that the child is saying something after which the social service people came to their house. Then they found out that the mother is under acute depression and she scolds/hits the children. They took the children away as per their law. Till here it is ok.

    My only concern is why not handle not kids to relatives or another Indian couple. Why foster home and separate ones and that too until they are 18? Why not counsel the Indian Parents or mother in this case? If there is more to it then why not disclose the reason. Atleast future Indian parents will know what crime they should not commit when they are in Norway.

    And another thing is., What norwegian government does is it's precedure, I was more frustrated with the Indian government not dealing with it properly especially now that it has become quite a public issue and for sometime. If the people feel as if their government cannot defend them, then don't you think there is some problem.

    As far as living outside your own country is concerned, it is purely a personal choice. You have a good experience living outside, good for you. I am happier living here. I believe India is a good place to raise kids.I wish I understood what you mean by systematic abuse.

    btw could you please send me a link about the aussie kid. I didnot get any links at all.


    When you read the above, you can see that the parents version of the story and that of the govt version is not always the same.
    The same reason can be applied for the Norwegian case. as for the Norwegian govt not disclosing their is called privacy laws..the right of the child is paramount.
    It is easy for you to say why not release the child to someone else..why split them etc..but what the Norwegian govt is trying to do is to ensure that..the children will not be disadvantaged in anyway..
    They ensure that the future custodians, in this case the uncle is fit as a carer. It is not that simple to hand the child over to a stranger even if he is their uncle.
    What makes you think that Norwegian foster parent is not fit to take care of the children? Cultural issues? Has the parents of the children already made that choice to expose their children to Norwegian culture when they chose to move there??
    As for how parents should raise their children..common sense is what is needed. If you want to hit your children because you are Indian and that is the custom, stay in India..
    If you chose to live outside, then you need to follow the rules..
    Seventeen European countries ban corporal punishment of children both in the home, school, and elsewhere: Sweden (1979), Finland (1983), Norway (1987), Austria (1989), Cyprus (1994), Italy (1996), Denmark (1997), Latvia (1998), Croatia (1999), Bulgaria and Germany (2000), Romania and Ukraine (2004), Hungary (2005), Greece, Netherlands, and Portugal (2007). As you can see, the rule has been in Norway from 1987..You can't hit a child when the law says otherwise.

    Sensationalism is what I feel is happeneing here. Our Indian culture of feeding the child, holding the child etc vs Norwegian culture..
    Most people don't get upset when they know that one in three malnourished children live in India. In a 2007 survey commissioned by the Indian govt has found that more than 53% of children in India are subjected to sexual abuse.
    Yet there is a huge brouhaha for two children, because they are Indians, because they were taken away from their Indian parents and are kept in two foster homes with limitted visitation rights.
    The rights most of the children in India don't have..these two children have in from parental abuse..You should be happy that someone took action..

  5. Have I mentioned anywhere that they are not culturally sensitive. In my comment to you I accepted that the norwegian child care services did their procedure and that i was more frustrated about the way Indian government handled the issue. And who is it to decide what is best advantaged for the children. Apparently they said that the father can have the child back if he was separated from the mother.

    As far as privacy laws for the sake of children is concerned, no one is telling that call all the sensational news channels and give them their juicy story. An assurance from any Indian diplomat or official that they accept the Norwegian government's decision is ok. That's enough.

    What makes you think that the Norwegian foster parents are fit to take care of these two children? BTW the only reason I asked you this question is because you asked me. Note that I had not said anything about Norwegian foster parents being incompetent. I would say the same thing if any other country was involved too. If you are separating biological children then the reason should be that strong. If the father is ok and the mother is not, then other steps should be taken. If i am not wrong the first court also did not recommend separating the children.

    You are fed up with Indians making a fuss and I am fed up with the Indian government not making a fuss. That's all. Two completely opposite reactions. And I think, we both can respect that and leave it at that.

  6. About the other case of the Australian kid

    I read the two links. Sorry I got time for it now only. In my opinion there is a marked difference in the two cases. One is the perceived abuse by a mother because of her emotional state/stress and the other is the perceived sexual abuse of a 6 year old child whose videos with objectionable content were obtained.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
You made my day :)