Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Avengers

Went to see the movie The Avengers today.Really enjoyed it. Better than Captian America, Better than "Thor" Way way better than Green Lantern. but lesser than Iron Man 1 and 2. All the characters were well etched out. Tony Stark's attitude was awesome as usual. Liked Thor in this movie than the movie "Thor". Jokes were tasteful and blended into the script well infact bursts of laughter could be heard in the theater every 10 min or so. Animation was great. What else is it required in a Superhero movie?? Good Entertainment.  I have never read any of these comics , I was more the fan of Batman, Superman, John mmmmm the Justice league of America especially Batman. Anyhow, if you enjoy superhero movies, maybe this Is worth a watch.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Goal 57 - Find 25 blogs to Follow

One of the Goals I had in my 101 list was to follow 25 blogs. Obviously I didn’t intend to follow any blog just to make up the list. At first it was very difficult to find them but now I think I might be having more than 25 blogs that I am following quite ardently. I am not going to post their links here. You can easily get them if you go to my blogger profile or my sidebar. Just some of my thoughts on my journey through this goal.

            * Once you find out a blog to follow branch out from their blog roll to find even more blogs of your interest. Chances are that you will like what they read if you like what they write.

            * Never judge a book by its cover and a blog author by the posts he write. You may conjure up someone in your imagination and then you may be disillusioned. Never think that the other person may be broad minded. I normally read the comments and the responses. If the commentators praise the author a bit too much or are too careful about the author’s ego, I run away from the blog. By the way this is not applicable to photography or DIY blogs.

            * When I first started reading blogs I almost want to stop writing. I was awed and felt very small indeed. But then I realized something. Some bloggers may write better than me; some worse than me...but no one just like me. For that I will have to write it myself. Bad posts???? No biggie... The stars would not be this beautiful if there was a white sky. Hey! You may not even see the stars! Bad posts are as important to a blog as good posts ;). So donot be afraid Darlings.... Write.... Write....

            * Following blogs gave the variety which my life missed after coming out from college. Once you start your professional life, the kind of people you meet are normally the same. The have almost the same interests as you. Now I have friends (even though we don't know much about each other) who talk about their different lifestyles, of different countries, of different ethnicities, of different professions and interests....its Awesome to be a part of that.

           * By following the photography blogs and the commentators in those blogs I learnt a lot about how to look at a photograph. Now I can appreciate the beauty of a photograph better.  I actually can understand now when people talk about contrast and taking a macro. And I realized that wonderful photos make me very very happy. Especially those of flowers.

            * My very first friend in the blogging world, Marcy always comments so well. At first I used to just like a post.I never knew why I liked a post. Nowadays I am learning to actually describe what I liked about the posts. I have learnt that from her comments.

            *Always ....Always reply to the comments you get. Always acknowledge the comments you get. It gives an awesome feeling to the one who comments. At least I feel really great when someone replies to my comments. So I try to reply too though sometimes I can only reply in monosyllables. Saw this first in Sugar and Spice’s blog.

            *Comment moderation is there for a purpose. Use it well. Don't post the comments if you don't like it. Send an email to the person explaining why. You are just defacing your own space by posting bad comments. On the other hand, posting only the comments which make you look good is the cheapest thing you can do. And please don’t allow your fan base to bash someone up. Puts normal people off from your blog. IHM is an awesome moderator.  I know if I cross a line she will not allow me to. That IS the purpose of comment moderation right?

            * Agree to disagree. Just because someone didn’t like something you wrote in one post doesn’t automatically mean he/she hates you. No one is that important. Who has time to hate someone else?????? Everyone is different. They may like something, they may not like something. No biggie. After all once you write in a public space you Are putting your ideas out for criticism. 

So thus ends this long post where I have put all the wisdom I have obtained from following blogs. Bravo if you have reached till here.  

Have a Wonderful Weekend!!!

Lots and Lots of Love


Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Why should anyone convert to any other religion? What is there in my religion that is not in yours? What is there in your religion which is not in mine? What does it matter if you understand him in a way different from mine ? what does it matter if I see him in a different way than you? Will he change? Is he not the same? Does our opinion even matter. It's like siblings fighting for their parent's love swearing they alone love their parents the most. Do parents have favorites? Won't they love each the same?  There is nothing worse than a broken home. There is nothing worse for the parents than siblings fighting with  each other. If you convert you don't know your birth religion. Learn about it first. Then learn of any other 5 religions. If you still feel the need to be identifed by any religion, If you are still able to find difference between them , Convert.

Just a Rant.

Note : Just a Rant. Just wrote it to get it out of my system. 

I think for atleast some days from today my posts are all going to be random musings or not so random musings. For some reason I am a bit demotivated in writing- well in most of the things. I have more than 5 posts which I have written but not yet posted. Simply becasue I don't feel like posting them. I wrote them so that those words will flow out and new words may take their place. Alas!, nothing of that sort happened. So here i am writing from my heart , they way she want's it to be written. Today my hand will be the slave of my heart and not of my mind.

Hubby has gone to site visit. He left early this morning. It may be late night when he returns. Delhi traffic in the evenings are bad enough but put in a good rain and then you have a recipe for a major traffic jam. It's as if the roads were not at all built for even a 5 min light shower. I still believe people here don't know what rain is. You have to see the monsoons back home where it rains continuously for hours and hours and hours.  Still I am thankful for whatever rain that comes my way over here. Better to have something than nothing. But I should be fair to the Delhi climate too. I saw foggy days,winter cold and hailstones for the first time in my life here and oh not to forget the dust storms. Though I am not very keen to go out when a dust storm happens, it still fascinates me. Nature always fascinates me. But I hope today's rain wont delay him. He must have had a pretty tough day today, traveling though roads which are not yet built.

Today I got another blog to follow. I had gone through her link through IHM's Feminism by indian bloggers page.

The article inspired me - a lot. I will write about it someday. Then I  starting browsing and I couldn't help laughing aloud when I was not supposed to. I loved the way she wrote.  After reading a few posts I understood that she was a writer and she had written a book that I had heard of before. " Mayil will not be quite". Well now I just can't wait to read that book.

Mother sent me Onion vadavam  and Maasi podi (Dried fish powder). Delicacies from home. The onion vadavam was a bit powdered but then its ok. I can't wait to have maasi again.

Two days ago I got up with a heavy feeling in my stomach. Stomach ache is my friend. It's my warning of anything bad that might happen or any anxiety hidden in my subconscious mind. I have always had stomachaches for every single thing. If I walk too much, my stomach aches, if I stand for a long time, if i laugh too much, if I am scared, if I travel too much, if I am depressed , it gives me a warning. But I have never had a stomach ache at the times girls normally have one. It used to be very difficult for me when i was a child but now it is a friend. It helps me know when to address some issues which my conscious mind wont even notice.

Anyhow, I got up early morning, maybe at dawn, scared. I woke up my hubby and told him I was scared. He asked why? I said I felt scared to become a mother. It is going to be two years since our marriage . My biological clock is ticking. So it felt the right time to make the decision, but once we decided to decide to go for it I was scared. I am scared. Popular opinion says one should be parents only when they are ready for it but I don't think I will ever be ready to take that road. How will I manage that alone?. With a job in a place where we have no one to call our own. When my sisters were expecting , they had my mom and they had me and they were not working. I wish with all my heart that we do not have to take the decision. Sometimes it's better that God himself takes these decisions no? Unfortunately not so in my case.  Ofcourse there are numerous women who do things alone, but I guess I was never one of those. But hubby comforted me the way only and only he can. Funny it was my idea to have kids soon and he ended up defending it for me.

Life is a road where everything need not be planned. We may be afraid at first but it may turn out to be great. Was not our own marriage an example of it. Yes it was Yes it was. I was also worried about where it will put me career wise. I am in a good position now. It's like a S curve - first there is a flat portion where you are just making sure you know what you are doing then there is this sharp escalation , the speed with which you move upwards is tremendous. I am there now. I am moving upwards with such speed.

 And the idea of an impending sudden jolt at this time makes me feel so sad .I and my husband are in equal footing now. With all the disadvantages I already face because of my gender, if I take a break, in two years I will be no where near him. Is it not a myth that only men have egos. I am not that great. I have a colossal ego. Will I resent it? It's almost unfair. But then this is what nature intends us to do. We have our roles assigned. It's not my hubby's fault or boon or whatever you call it that he can't bear children!!!!

This does not mean I don't want kids, I always wanted kids. Man, even my blog is for my future kids.
its just that ------ is it not possible for people to want two different things at the same time???

But again help did come. V said in a career of 20 years a year or two will not matter much. Yes it will take a hit . Yes it will stop for a time but it will adjust itself. I guess it will. Maye be this is the turning point for me career wise too .Maye be I will concentrate on  becoming a independent consultant or maybe seriously consider Phd and then go to teaching field. but teaching in technical colleges  nowadays is not longer teaching. Maybe I will join a coaching institute.

All these would not have mattered much if I was not caught in two worlds. A world of my  mother's where you are a stay at home mom, maybe in my heart that's what I want to do too but then there is this other world, a world were I want to prove myself, I want to work, reach great heights. where I excel in my professional life too, where no man who knows me will be able to tell a woman honestly that a woman's place in in the home and not anywhere else. I see women do it. Women who are far less fortunate than me. I atleast have a great husband who will pitch in. And a MIL who will encourage me to go to work. Ahhh...... when the time comes, maybe I will be ready. God has always been kind to me. Things have always been better than they could have. He will take care of me now too.

Ah! I feel better now.

I sometimes wish I did not think this much. I sometimes wish I was like those people who took the assigned way. I always seem to miss it. I always have a number of roads in front of me and never a single one. I feel as if I always have had to choose and I always end up choosing those that look like they may be slightly more difficult. But then the roads I took have been really really good ones. So maybe I should just trust in myself and my decisions. They have always been good.

I can't wait for hubby to be back. I miss him , I miss him so much. I am so scared to being this attached to someone. Pepper wrote about this fear in her blog. I could relate so much with what she wrote that I read through her whole post without losing a breath. (atleast that's what it felt like).

Enough ...or I will give away every single thing in my life here. Enough for now.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

5 Random thoughts

1. I have began to use this i.e 5 random thoughts whenever I feel I am in a rut. I feel as if I have been using it a whole lot nowadays.

2. Cleared the overhead tank today. It was fun but extremely exhausting.

3. Slept at 4:00 am (I suspect I do suffer from insomnia of some kind, must have got it from my mom) and got up at 7:00. No wonder I am cranky.

4. Hubby went to Spar supermarket with GS and bought prawns, fish and mutton. Going to try Prawns Olathiyathu from maria's menu. Let's see how it comes.

5. Watched two disney movies today. a) The Reluctant Dragon and Peter pan. Enjoyed both. The disney movies of 40's sometimes had the supporting cast too with sprinklers of animation in between. At first it was very boring .Now I have gotten to appreciate it. I had read Peter Pan and had found it very boring. But the movie was good. Another book turned Disney movie to watch - Alice in Wonderland. Somehow I never enjoyed the book after the initial chapters. I could never understand what was happening. I had lost my interest in the book afterwards. Maybe I will understand when I see the movie.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Goal 26 - Officially over Yay!!!!

Congratulate me people. Rahmath has done it. Walked minimum 15 minutes for 21 consecutive days. Though I must admit, there was one day I did not walk that much but I have decided to waive it off. I had gone to the park to walk but I was scared of the two huge dogs there and came back as I was alone that day. If they were not there , I am sure I would have walked. Anyhow I compensated the remaining time the very next day. So I consider this goal officially accomplished.

Its a long time since I did something every single day and so I feel really good about it. Now there is hope for some other goals. I had almost given up on them thinking I do not have that much commitment. But  proven otherwise. Yay for me!!!!

By the way Really Really need to thank my hubby for coming with me everyday. Couldn't have done it otherwise.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Where can I buy some Time???

I wish we lived in an Enid Blyton world where I could one day wander off into the faraway tree or go meet some really cool pixie who would sell me some time.

Life is and has been really hectic the last two weeks. Today is friday and I hope we will be able to get off work at the normal time. I would love to laze in front of the TV see a good movie and eat pizza. Unfortunately out side food is not agreeing to either my stomach or Hubby's stomach so we have to cook everyday. Our body is still getting used to the summer. So no more one day breaks from cooking for us, at least not for the time being.

Yesterday we bought the Red spinach from a nearby market. It is so rarely available in North India but this place, where the market is, has a lot of Malayalee ( People who speak Malayalam - the language of the state Kerala, the place I come from) population and so the vendors there have adopted themselves to sell things that malayalees  are sure to buy. Anyhow nowadays I guess there is not much divide between the North Indian and South Indian cuisine. My North Indian friends relish the South Indian food like dosa and vada and sambar. It's like a different thing for them . hahahaha like aloo parantha and Sookhi roti for me.

It's really time for me to try more recipes. It's time I looked up on my 101 things to do in 1001 days. I am neglecting it too much. At this rate I won't even complete half of my list.

For a better tomorrow!!!!!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Joy of Giving Card Week 10

Joy of Giving Week 22-23 card that Ritu posted was to avoid plastics and clean out your cupboard and donate the clothes you don't use. I have recorded my experience on Week 22 card here and as I already had decided to donate clothes every Christmas Eve to Goonj as I have recorded in this post I thought I will follow an older card.

Week 10 card - Start a Gratitude Diary, seemed to be a perfect choice.

The times I have an organized form of prayer,(which means standing in one place , lighting agarbattis and reading scriptures sort of thing) it normally starts like this, 'Thanks dear God for all the happiness you have given me and my loved ones. Thanks for the food we eat, for the roof on top of our head and the love that you shower upon us through our friends and family'.

At this point my hubby always quips in saying "why have you forgotten the walls and columns, after all if there were no walls the roof wouldn't be on top of our heads". I have learnt to ignore that sentence. It's almost a family tradition now. I say that prayer and he says this sentence cheekily :)

So in March, I decided to start one. Whenever I felt thankful about something I just wrote  it on any piece of paper I got my hand into. I wrote so for around 8 days. I wonder how does one write a gratitude diary everyday. Does it not start repeating??? that's a genuine question. But I loved writing it. Helped me stay positive. Just to sum it up

What Am I thankful for right now?

1. My husband.

2. Stability - the roof on top of my head and the   walls and the columns :)

3. Financial independence.

4. Love from friends and family.

5. Health.

6. Education

7. Work that I enjoy.

8. Hope that everything will be ok.

9. Happy memories old and new.

10. Belonging to a Democratic Secular Country.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Heritage Walk to Hauz Kauz - Part 1/2

We went to our fourth heritage walk organised by INTACH delhi chapter. This time it was to Hauz Khauz. Our walk leader was again Ms. Jaya Bassera. If anybody wants a introductory paragraph to this post please go here. But I have gotta warn you.... This post..... TOO BIG.

Sign post In Hauz khauz Complex

This sign post gives a basic idea about the place. The  two legs of the L are the Madrasa (college). The top most tomb is the tomb of Feroz Shah Tughlaq who commissioned the College.
The lowermost structure is the mosque.

Three Domed assembly hall.

This is the first structure we saw. It was  three domes structure. May have been a assembly hall. Me thinks it may be the place where teachers discussed somethings with students or had their discussion with each other. Apparently it had the best teachers and if a student wanted to learn from a particular teacher or maths medicine astronomy etc etc, he had to prove himself worthy of being taught.
The Madrasa was well praised in the writings of travelers of that time.

Columns in the Assembly Hall

As the Tughlaq dyansty was trying to integrate with the hindu community at that time, they retained many of the architectural features slightly modified to suit their own taste or rules. One was the square columns which can also be seen in the mosque complex of the Qutab Minar which used the pillars of Jain temples( another story). The elepant head shaped column head without the eyes or tusks or any of the living form depiction also can be seen.
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Six tombs with different types of domes can be seen in the left as we enter the complex. Ms. Bassera said an experimentation with different types of domes may have been taking place at that time. These were the tombs of prominent teachers or saints.

A view of the West wing of Madrasa seen from the North Wing. Do you see the huge stone buttress kind of thing supporting the Wall. I wonder if it had/has any other function!!!!

Rooms in the madrasa

 The student wing..... Someone remarked it was dingy. I personally thought it was quite alright. I mean it was not like they needed king sized cots and computer tables!!!!!!!! My husband suggested they were like ancient gurukul systems where the students were expected to live simple lives. Anyhow the great view of water would have compensated any soul I guess!!! 

View from the Madrasa

With this view i wonder how even students got their work done in time.It must have been even more enticing at that time with no man made roads.  I would have been pretty happy just day dreaming my time away!!!Imagine the moon lit water!!!

Asian Pied Starling at home

Saw somebody else enjoy the view along with us. But I envied her for affording to live in such a fine place. Asian Pied Starling. Loved to see her/him in his/her nest.

Tomb of Feroz Shah Tughlaq

Then we went to see the tomb of Feroz Shah Tughlaq. Compared to the other tombs in the other walks we have gone to , this was very simple. The tomb itself was surrounded by a stone fence. I have not seen this type of fencing in any other structure. Some one said it resembled the fencing in some stupa. Anyhow... This fencing was like a lego, or puzzle. If you notice the post you can see the square depressions into which the horizontal legs of the fence go. The tomb also had red sandstone lacy border with different kind of flowers carved on them. Truly Magnificient...

It had three tombs inside. Of the King, his son, and his grandson. One can recognize the gender of the person buried under from the triangular thing on the top of the grave. For women , the marking is the shape of a rectangular plate. Learned a new term - " Squinch". In architecture the arch which carry the load of the Dome is known as a Squinch. I don't know if the arch in the photo is a squinch though. It looks more decorative than load bearing.

This Grave is that of Feroz Shah Tughlaq's grandson.
Picture of the Tomb.

Notice the work on the Dome. And this is just the ruins, imagine what colours may be been here . I know for sure that gold and blue were in use. I saw them in Mehrauli Archeological Park. How majestic this place would have been once upon a time. Notice the lines in the form of a star and some of the medallions in the form of a water drop. It is to simulate the night sky. It was believed that God showered his blessings in the form of rain and mist.

Then we went to the Deer Park  too  but I think I will do it in another post. This was a colossal post. I just want it to be over.

The first time I heard this sentence

Today for the first time in my life I have heard this sentence. " It is true you are a working lady but you are a housewife also. You HAVE to get up early in the morning and cook lunch "

I was so surprised to hear it come from a person I really really respected. I thought he was a very balanced person but he seems to be a prey of this society too. But I really like him. He is a nice person so it's ok. Ofcourse I told him not to tell that I "have " to do something because I have a XX chromosome. And I also unshamedly told him I am not willing to stress myself that much. Was he scandalised? I don't care.

Today you know what  I would say, Thank God I married my Husband. Even if by chance I ended up with someone who thought this way, I would be either divorced by now or have been living a very unhappy life indeed. I cannot bear hypocricy especially things which one has absolutely no control on  say race, colour or gender or even religion..

When I was working in chennai just before my post graduation, one of my collegues asked me if my parents were looking for a groom for me. I said not now because I am trying for M Tech. She asked me if I had any preferences. I said... Not much. Then she said, Rahmath tell your parents to be very careful while choosing a guy for you. There are certain things you will never be able to accept. I said amused ....OOOOOOOOOOK!!!!

She didnot even know me, but how true was her words. After marraige I have a feeling that I am not at all marraige material in the sense that we are brought up. I mean there is no way I think I should get up at 6 and cook breakfast , lunch and dinner while my husband has his bueaty sleep. There is no way I think that my career automatically is less important than my husband's career, there is no way I think that I should and should not do certain things JUST because I am a girl and there is certainly no way i think its ok for the husband not to do any housework. I am so so glad I am married to him. It has it's problems as he doesnot beleive in chivalry but he is one the most most balanced men I know. Never has a sentence escaped from him mouth that I "should" or "should not" do some things. Yes I had an arranged marraige..... Arranged by God.   Touch wood. Everything works out just right ultimately.Pray for us...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Life this week

Life is hectic this week!!!! Work load is higher in office. It reflects the life after office too. Wanted to skywatch today and identify Ursa Major and show hubby the Big dipper. Alas!!! the sky was not clear. As I am not able to write just spending time writing comments and enjoying other's blogs :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A post from the past - The Optimist

I think writing such long posts has drained me a little. I write  then delete , then write then delete again . But I do want to post something...... Anything......So I think it's time for another post from the past. I don't even remember if I have posted this in this blog before. Every author or a poet has a special work of theirs which they love. If I dare to call myself a poet, I would say that this poem was my favorite. I have written many other poems, my friends have preferred some others to this one ,but still .... it has and will remain my favorite.

So today I present it to you. I hope you like it....

Written:   Jan of 2006

The Optimist

On a very rainy day
You see the glittering jade
On a very sunny day
You find a cloud to shade

Troubles always pursue you
But can rarely make you frail
Love always eludes you
Still it does not make you pale

You see the smiling face of hope
Where hope can never be
Your strength lies in you heart
yet for everyone to see

Look at you, who runs around
At fates beck and call
But you my dear, an optimist
Will never ever fall

Monday, April 9, 2012

Summary of the Heritage Walks.

Last weekend we went to our fourth Heritage Walk. This time it was to Hauz Kauz. I actually got a bit confused in this walk, because I had already seen Mehrauli Archeological Park which had ruins from the Slave dynasty, Lodhi Garden which had the remnants of the Syed and Lodhi Dyansty. and now in Hauzkauz it was from the Tughlaq era. Ms. Bassera described the evolution of arch ,dome , and the continued usage of beam column systems through out the five dynasties.  So after coming back I just went to Wikipedia and searched a bit about the history of India at that period. The time period just  before the the lone wolf Shershah and the Mughal Dynasty( which is the most famous one as a result of "The Taj Mahal"), the Northern part of India was ruled by 5 dynasties collectively known as the Delhi Sultanate ( 1206-1526, Coutesy- The Wikipedia). For detailed explanations , one will have to refer texts or Wikipedia.

The five dynasties were, the Slave dynasty or Mamluk, the Khilji/Khalji Dynasty, the Tughlaq Dynasty, the Sayyid Dynasty and the Lodhi Dynasty. The visit to Mehrauli Archeological Park gave an insight about the architecture and history of the Slave  Dynasty, the Qutab Minar being one of the most well known of their architectural contributions.  I think the Khilji Dynasty kings were too busy defending the Indian subcontinent from the Mongols that they did not have time or resources to spend on any huge lavishly decorated structures. Therefore even the tombs were quite simple compared to other dynasties. However one of them, Alauddin Khilji commissioned the water tank in Hauz Kauz  for collecting water during the rainy seasons which could be used afterwards throught the year. Unfortunately after his time the channels which brought in water were not maintained and the water tank had hence dried up for sometime.

Then came the Tughlaq Dynasty.Feroz Shah Tughlaq restored the water supply to the tank after which it was called Hauz Khauz or Royal Tank(Haus - water tank, Khaus - Royal/Special). He also commissioned a university of sorts which according to the writings of travelers was very well praised. His tomb is also present there.

Then came the Sayyid Dynasty and the Lodhi Dynasty. The tombs of prominent kings and saints were seen in the Lodhi Gardens. The last ruler Ibrahim Lodhi was defeated by Babur whose son Humayun was the founder of Mughal Dynasty. One his great grand son  - Shah Jahan (the one who was responsible for the dream named "the Taj mahal") who made the city Shahjahanabad which we saw in our walk to the Chandini Chowk.

I realise now that we should have seen Lodhi Gardens only after Hauz Khauz. Anyhow...

That's all for the summary....

Now for the Walk....

Friday, April 6, 2012


A couple of days ago in the market, I saw a boy in a karate uniform complete with white robe white pants and an orange Belt. It took me back to my own Karate days and my Sensei. (Yea, I have attended Karate Classes. Dropped it after a year but that's another story :)). I was around 9 or 10 at that time.
'in the form of a Karate Teacher'
One day there was a new sensation in our otherwise laid back colony where we used to stay. And this sensation was in the form of a karate teacher. I asked my father if i could join fro the classes and was overjoyed when he agreed. Sensei (Japanese for teacher) had around 25 students (if i remember right) among which 5 -6 were girls and the rest were boys.
I remember him as a pleasant man. A bit to the shorter side, a little dark with a thin black beard in his jaw. He was Calm and disciplined. He rarely raised his voice in anger but a single glare from him would be enough to bring any own to line. Every other morning, around 6 - 6:30 he used to take classes in an open shopping center which had a huge central lawn. The classes would normally go uninterrupted except the days when the loafer and his friends would come to hoot us.
The Loafer. How much I loathed him.  He and I went way back.....
(Ahem by way back i mean two or three years.)
A lot of changes were taking place in my life that time. My elder sister had started behaving very weirdly indeed. Suddenly some games were too kiddish for her. She was refusing to do so many fun things with me; she even refused to go to the park with me. So what if she had become 13. I had become 8 too. I didnot stop going to the park just because I was one year older. Her friends were not going to the park, she said. Friends?? Friends?????? Was i not enough? Did I not share my dolls? Did we not always play together till now? Was I not enough?
I reproached. (Very good at melodrama....indeed I was. I still am)
One afternoon, with all the reproaches and guilt tactics and promises of the wonderful times that lay ahead, I dragged her to the park praying fervently with all my heart that the park would be filled and that she would have a wonderful time so that she would return to the park.
My Hopes shattered when I saw the deserted park. In my excitement and fear that she may change her mind, I had dragged her to the park way too early. No one was there.  Only the loafer (around 16-17 of age at that time  i think) was there with his friend. I was determined that my sister should have a wonderful time. Unfortunately for some reason, she seemed angry at the loafer. He winked at her and was saying something...
Ah, now I understood. He was making fun of my sister because he could wink and my sister could not. After all shutting just one eye while keeping the other open and that too so effortlessly was no mere feat , I tell you....No wonder she was angry. I will show him. (I got to know later that she had not even noticed the two boys!!!!. All my analysis was a waste :( )
"Why are you laughing? Tell me" - Courtesy THE hubby
"Look at me ", I called out to him. “I can wink too".
As soon as he saw me winking at him, he fell down backwards with a mock rapture clutching his heart and his friend started laughing. Warning bells rang. I felt confused; still I went to my sister and said to her.
"Don't worry JB. I showed him. I winked at him too".
"What” She yelled. "We are going home right now."
I was alarmed, I did not understand. First the loafer, now she!!!!. Both did not behave the way I thought they will.  She marched me out of the park clutching my hand and then to my utter mortification she started giggling uncontrollably.
"Why are you laughing? Tell me" I was distressed.
"You winked at him. hahahahhaha" My sister was laughing till we reached home.
She never came to the park with me after that.
HE was responsible some way, I knew. I was trying o show my sister a good time. He spoiled it. I would have succeeded in bringing her back if it was not for HIM.I hated him. I hated him with all my tiny heart,
And now he was spoiling our karate classes too.
As I said earlier Sensei was a calm person. He preferred to not mind them. But the more he ignored them, the more became their interference. Once or twice, he would ask them to shut up but one day the loafer gang was a bit too much.
Sensei told us to keep practicing the new moves and went to confront them. He took them out of the complex and we don't know what happened after that. After some time Sensei returned. He looked flustered and disturbed. "Is everything ok, Sensei?" Someone ventured to ask. “Yes yes, don't worry. Continue your practice" He said and after sometime dismissed the class.
That day in school, rumors blazed. Someone had seen Sensei talk to the gang.  Apparently Sensei went to meet the loafer in his locality later. No respectable people went there. What had happened???? Will there be classes anymore?
'Nothing seemed to be any different'
There was. Nothing seemed to be any different. But 10 min into the class, who should come in but the loafer!."5 rounds around the complex". Sensei ordered. We all had to do the rounds for warm-up session once we came to the class. Why should the loafer do it? Why had he joined the class? Somehow there was something different about the loafer that day. Gone was the brazen attitude. It was almost as if he was afraid of Sensei. The next class he came in his karate uniform.
At first the students felt uncomfortable. But as time went on, even his presence became normal. Sensei began taking 10 min breaks and started leaving the loafer second in command. Sensei said the loafer was responsible for us. At first the loafer seemed a bit confused but slowly he changed. He started looking respectable (if you know what I mean). Children began warming up to him. And slowly the loafer changed to Raju anna (brother in Tamil). He was friendlier and somehow seemed more ok than before. I was less inclined to like him. But my friends convinced me he had changed. When he stuck for us children when his friends tried to bully us he tried to make things better for us, despite the peer pressure, I relented.

After some days he and his friends opened a small cable shop. Much to the relief of everyone around. He seemed to settle down.  I don't know what happened to him as we left the colony that year itself. I don't know if he changed back owing to peer pressure. The locality from where he came was quite notorious in those parts. I don't know what happened to my Sensei too.
However nowadays, whenever I see some kid in a karate uniform, I remember my Sensei. I remember a teacher who tried to better a life.

PS: Extremly thankful to hubby for making these sketches for me. He is the best!!!!!! (for me i.e)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

5 Random thoughts

- Wrote two posts in the last three days. One was "The reluctant homemaker" which hubby requested not to publish and the other, I have not yet finalized. I will publish it tomorrow. The content of the reluctant homemaker is just about her. I was hoping that, writing about it would help me in managing all my conflicting feeling about taking care of  a house and a career at the same time. Well, if it was a series, the title of the today's post would have been, "The Reluctant Homemaker takes charge" :)

- I and HK (a childhood friend extremely special to me ) both wanted to read the Quran . So we decided to fix a time and read a specific amount of verse with the meaning in our respective homes (I am in the Haryana and she is in Kerala - opposite parts of the country). After that we would discuss it or something through phone especially words which move us in some way. So we started it today and it was a grand success. Felt really good after that. I was afraid I may have forgotten to read Arabic so I found a link in which there is this person reading it. Gosh, he reads it so beautifully, I had to fight to concentrate on his words and not his voice. Even though I understood absolutely nothing, it felt very peaceful.

- I thought I should spend only 15 minutes today blogging. But I find that it is too short a time. 10 min is already over :(

- Is writing a personal blog narcissistic???? But I believe one should give a healthy amount of importance to oneself. When people don't give enough respect or importance to themselves, they are not ultimately very happy people. And then, that causes more problem. Anyhow I love reading personal blogs. I love knowing about what other's lives are about. I  love to know their story.

-15 minutes is up. Gotta go and make rava dosa and chutney. Do you want some???? :)