Friday, May 25, 2012

Just to say...

.....Going Out of town for a while. I know I have not been posting that regularly nowadays. Hopefully when I come back I will have lots and lots to share with you. Take care...

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Promise to write a funny post

I am writing very serious stuff  no??? Promise... Will write a funny post; Atleast try to write a funny post once every month.

Scene From a Memoir - 3 Related Incidents

I am writing this in response to Marcy's Prompt for Scene from a Memoir. I am writing on 3 related incidents in my life.

They say that the good you do to others always comes back in some way or the other. Many of Enid Blyton's stories for children are based on that one golden rule. I grew up believing that. Then I heard that if you help others once, God would help you twice. Does he?

End of First Semester of M Tech.

 I and my two friends were discussing our fees which we had to pay in the starting of our next semester. One of them came from a more difficult financial situation. She was going through a tough time. And she was worried about the fees as she did not want to trouble her mother. We has stipend (An amount of Rs5000/- per month) which we saved and if we were prudent was just sufficient to pay the fees every semester. I had had a job the last year and had just got my some pending money from them. I jumped to help her out.  I wanted to.  I considered myself lucky to be able to help a friend. Now I know I was luckier than I imagined myself to be at that time.

End of Second Semester of M Tech.

Had just told my parents that I wanted to marry K. Fees time again. This time,we thought we had to pay around 18000/-.  The stipend had not been regular and I did not have enough money. I did not know whom to ask. I could have asked my parents but they were already overwhelmed by my previous request ;). I just could not ask anything more from them. They would have given; I did not want to ask. Anyhow I wanted to pay the fees myself. It was a time when many were trying to convince me that I was a kid and was not capable of marrying K or taking care of myself or living in this big bad world. I guess paying my own tuition was my way of proving it to them (and to myself) that I was capable of taking care of myself. That I was capable of taking life decisions.  I somehow arranged 18000/- and then suddenly, out of the blue, we got to know that the fees was 23000/- .  My heart grew heavy. I did not know what to do.  I took my clothes for washing. I hoped physical exertion would reduce the pain in my heart. . I was toying with the idea of being an Atheist at that time. Yet, I prayed "Help me. If you are there, help me"

I came back and saw K had called.  I called him back. He was also studying at that time. I told him how the fees had increased and how worried I was and how I prayed to God asking him to help me.

"Looks like God heard you". K said. One of his friends had offered to help me out with 5000/-. K was going to refuse thinking I already had the money. But he had called to just inform me.

Paid the fees in time. Stipend came with the arrears and I re-paid everyone and then started saving for the next Semester.

End of Third Semester M Tech.

 Fees time again. Needed Rs 23000/-. Already had 18000/- Just needed one more stipend to come. The stipend would come on  the 8th of every month. The last date for fees without paying a fine was 5th. The final date with the fine was around 20th. I had already decided that I would pay with the fine.  It was not a big deal. Some of my friends were waiting too. Still, it was weird to tell out that I had not paid the fees. It was weird to say I, Rahmath, did not have the money. I  had always had everything one needed.

 5th came.  I acted cool. But I felt weird. It was the first time in my life that I was not paying my fees at the right time. The Bank where we were supposed to deposit the money would close at 2:00pm. 1.00 came 1:10 came 1:15 came; it was unnerving that day for me. At last at 1:20 I thought I would go to the mess and have food. Maybe 2:00 pm would come faster that way. And then maybe I would feel better.

I reached the mess, put something in my plate and sat down in one of the steel benches. I looked up and saw Rajani - another friend of mine across the table. She was just leaving when she saw me. It was a long time since we talked. She was in a different hostel and was extremely busy with her theses. We rarely talked those days, we both were that busy with our respective studies. That day however she came and sat near me to give me company while I had my food.

"So paid the fees?" She asked.

"Nope" I said trying to sound nonchalant.

"Why????????" she asked incredulously.

“The stipend did not come. I still need 5k. So thought I will pay after it came with the fine." I murmured.

“What??????? Why did you not ask me? I will lend it to you."

"No it's ok. I will pay later" Idiotically I said again.

"What Rubbish. Why should you wait? Come to the ATM in 10 minutes. I will meet you there."

She left.

I ran back to my room. Got ready. Reached the ATM at 1:40pm. She gave me the rest of the money at 1:45. I went in the Bank. Paid the fees and at 2:05 came out with the receipt in my hand. And with only one thing in my mind.

If you help somebody once, God helps you twice.

If you help somebody once, God helps you twice.

If you help somebody once, God helps you twice.

Question.

Does he????

Answer

Yes Maam..... He sure does.













Saturday, May 12, 2012

Just Like that

- Hubby said something which i wanted to record here.  'Discrimination against women always starts telling them it's for their own safety. It still is discrimination.' Now you know why i married him.

-Saw Star wars today. It was amazing. Actually it was quite uncomplicated storyline but i was all the time marveling the way the movie is taken. Even now there are pictures whose animation makes you laugh. Some of the scenes were cliched but i guess at that time it was one of the first movies to use that cliche. For example if the hero meets his old childhood friend just before a mission , and they say they will catchup after the mission, be sure the friend will die :). But doesnot change the fact that I totally loved the movie.I like Sci-fi movies.  I would love to watch the making of the movie. Saw Episode 4 .Now for Episode 5.

- Two movies I would recommend is
a. The Man from the Earth 
and
 b. Inherit the Wind.

Both the movies have only one place where most of the scenes takes place. In the first one it's a room where  7 people talk. Yes just Talk but it's one of the best movies I have ever seen.

Inherit the Wind takes place in a courtroom where two lawyers -Icons of their world - fight for their beliefs. A Evolutionist and a Creationist. Again , it's a must watch.

-Duststorm outside. But I am beginning to welcome these dust storms. Yeah the house gets dusty but the temperature falls a bit. It's getting too hot for words.

- Hubby watching F1 qualifications. he has transferred the setup box to our bedroom. Today was a good day. Two anticipated problems did not come. Looks like God willing we will be in the same house the next year also. Wonder when we will have our own house. Having your own home has almost become a luxury nowadays. Only now do we appreciate our parents huh. They had so less compared to us but they managed to save so much. Though  wonder if it is necessary to save to that extent ie for your children as a legacy. Is it worth it ?; Worrying so much about your future that you don't really enjoy the present? I guess here too, the code word is Balance.

-Hubby just asked me to see the birth of date of a racer . 1986. I reminded him that the racer was not young we were getting old. Now we will see many who are younger than us. Yes feels weird. Feels weird when children call you aunty.  Feels weird when you realize that those achievers in TV are younger than us. I still feel 17. I guess I will always be 15-17 in my head.

- My laptop no longer works as a laptop.  The battery has gone bad. Need to change it. Now I just have to charge it every 5 minutes. Waiting for the laptop to shut down on it's own. Will stop when it does shutdown. This will be an incomplete post.

- Wo! Never thought I would still be writing :) Normally nowdays I just stop after the first paragraphs.

- ok now I am stuck at this point. JINX

- I hope it rains. I want my tulasi (holy basil) plant to have a bit of natural water from above. My tulasi plant is a reminder of something. But that deserves a seperate post. So will not write about it here.

_ Interesting the laptop's charge still stays. When I want the charge to stay , it doesn't stay, else it does. This happens all the time does it not ?

- Stopping for now.

PS: There was a long long current cut - the reason why i couldn't charge my laptop.  I and hubby played Scrabble after a long long time. loved this game. Was really good.



Friday, May 11, 2012

Desperation

Really really having a writers block. What do you know, I am not even able to comment in other blogs. Maybe this week I should make sure that I post something every single day. Weekend is here. Going to make it a starwar weekend. Have not seen the old movies till date. I have vague memories of one of them though. Wrote a review for the movie "The dirty picture". Yet to finalize it. Then I have a draft for Marcy's Scene from a Memoir too. Yet to finalize it. Have a half baked post about the perception of love marriages by ordinary middle class people through my eyes. Half baked says it all. Office has been hectic. Somehow life has been stressful these last two weeks. I am not able to post happy chirpy bubbly thoughts. I am not able to post anything at all. It's as if I have lost a limb or something. This disability of not being able to express what is in my mind. Obviously I hate it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Mayil Will not be Quiet - Review


Mayil will not be quiet Mayil will not be quiet by Niveditha Subramaniam
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I read the book after many recommended it to me in the blog world. It is written through the eyes of a 12- 13 year old Mayil Ganeshan. At first it was dis belief that greeted me as i felt that the English used was too refined. Then I corrected myself because as a diary writer i know that children can write quite well. As I kept on reading it grew even more interesting. Mayil asked questions which we have asked as teens. Issues of Gender stereotyping and sex are addressed quite subtly. Maybe with so much subtlety that even a book for adults would not have been able to accomplish. I totally recommend it to girls, mothers and even boys of that age group for information on what goes inside a girl's mind at that age which is quite accurate in my point of view and a fun read for others too.

View all my reviews

Fighting the Temptation to condemn/complain

Day 1
5/5/2012 :  Was pretty easy as it was a holiday and I didot meet anybody else apart from hubby. Though must say , I did criticize a movie scene. But I was extremely negative about someone to my hubby at around 10:30 in the night. There are two people who test my patience. If I can just learn to be Zen towards them , then this goal would be far easier. Will be updating the rest of the days in the same post.

Day 2
6/5/2012 :  It's not over yet but there are these thoguth sin my mind i really want to put it down. Today I was not that conscious. Gossiped, and condemned some people today while talking to someone else today. This someone else is very close so allowed to do that technically. Fought the TTC (Temptation to criticize)  three times and won. Only when i want to stop something do i realize how much into it i actually am. Is it the case with everyone? Never thought i was this negative. Or is it that i don't want to do it and so I am more conscious of it and the temptation to criticize or condemn is more :(. Like if one wants someone else to remember her, just tell to that person emphatically to forget her????

Read the first chapter of the book " How to win friends and Influence people." Kept thinking of last week. Well this chapter says the same. 'Refrain from criticizing , or condemning. Next time when someone tests your patience remember not to do the natural thing . Do not criticize. No one accepts that they are wrong. Condemning will only make them resent you. It is not worth it. Last week I lost my cool in the end to someone in office. I wonder if I was rude to someone else. Tomorrow hopefully I will remember this lesson.

Day 3:
7/5/2012:  Was a good day. Didnot criticize condemn or complain the whole day. Came really near to it but then remember Dale carneige " Restrain from doing the natural thing. Felt good. I like not doing these things. In the evening had a worrying news from home. after that I left it. I showed out my worry in the form of sarcasm. Hmmmm... Long journey. But i think today was good.

Day 4:
8/5/2012 I was not very aware of what I talked today. Stopped myself from criticizing 2 times. But I was positively negative also twice. But as my friend pointed out are we not human? IS it healthy not to show any feeligns outside???? even animals are aggressive sometimes. Remember the story of the snake and the monk? But atleast nowadays I am more concious of what is coming out of my mouth and that's a good thing. Let us see how the next day works out.

Day 5/6?
9-10/5/2012Was not very concious. There was no situation for me to criticize of complain. Every oe was very agreeable. So technically, this is not very difficult for me. So maybe i should include not beign negative at all. Only say something in a positive way?. Ah let us see. However my mind is too busy nowadays in work. It gets carried on when i reach home too. I am pretty mind one tracked rt now.

Day 7-17
11-20/5/2012: Quit the Goal fro the time being. Somehow I have a feeling that this goal is making me more frustrated than ever. Office is frustrating and hectic. Really not in the mood to indulge anything. Not even myself. Rahmath very very angry and very very frustrated. I cannot remember to not be negative. It's getting awfully difficult. :( Me very very sad.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Joy of Giving

Ritu is out of blog world town for sometime and she will come back only on 4th of may. So I thought I will follow another card. I decided to follow the very first card she had posted. It was to refrain from criticizing or saying anything negative for a whole week. I tried to, stuck for 1 day and then I found out it was too difficult. But I really really want to stop saying anything negative to anyone. I only feel bad when I do that. is it not better not to do that at all?

But sometimes I wonder, I have seen that when I was very good also, it was a big problem. People took too much advantage of my good nature and ultimately I felt even more bad somehow. I have seen that when i am understanding and someone keeps takes advantage of my not saying anything back, ultimately their behavior becomes unacceptable to me and I cannot do anything about it because I allowed them to do that in the first place. How does one tell somebody they love that their behavior is not acceptable. As a result of this nowadays I am too much in the 'taking care of myself' mode and do not allow anyone to even cross me a bit. I guess one has to find a balance between the two. In work place too if someone is not doing some one's work and is making your work difficult too then how should one deal with such a person. How is it possible not to lose one's temper or one's cool? I wonder.

Anyhow I want to try again. The card is for one week but I really don't think it is going to be that easy that I will master the art of not criticizing in a week. So I am going to try it for 21 days. They say it takes 21 days for a habit to kick in. And I am also going to record my en devours here. I am hoping that publishing it in a public space will help my brain be a bit more conscious of my behavior , after all no one wants to look bad to others.

But there is one exception to the rule.

I am allowed to tell out how I felt to my husband. Rahmath does not believe in bottling things up. But without judgmental overtones, just a reporting of the day spent.


Hmmmm I should read "How to make friends and Influence people" by Dale Carnegie once again. It will be helpful. Wish me luck on this goal! Does anyone want to join me in this?


And this starts Now...5/5/2012 - Time 11.38am


Friday, May 4, 2012

Still a Wonderful World.

I recently read a blog post in which someone had lamented the morally degrading world. Well, this post is dedicated to those who are fed up like me to hear only bad things about the world.

Today morning we got ready and left for office 10 - 15 minutes earlier. Our office is quite near to where we live, a matter of 2-3 minutes in bike. When we turned one corner, both I and my hubby got a shock of our lives. Two small children maybe barely three were in the middle of the road clutching each other. One of them was trying to cross the road pulling the other boy while vehicles whizzed in either sides and the other child was crying out aloud. I promise you this is the scariest thing I have ever seen in a long time.

 My husband quickly stopped the bike and I quickly ran and stood near them. Looking at them I myself lost all my presence of mind. All I knew was two children were out there and I just had to be there. Hubby sided the bike when I just got there and I looked up to see another man run to the children. He showed out his hands as if to say don't worry I will deal with it. I asked him if he knew the kids. He said no. At the very same time another man had stopped his vehicle in the side and he came out. And both men tried to ask the children for any details. I am ashamed to say I just became putty by that time. I cannot bear to see children cry. I just waited around them. The others took charge of the situation. The children kept crying out aloud .Papa ko bulvo Papa ko bulavo. Papa ke paas jana Hain. (Call papa Calla Papa. Want to go to Papa).

The person who came out of the car had more presence of mind and he took charge of the situation. He lovingly talked to the kids and took the diary from their schoolbag. From that he got the number of the father of the kid and called him. By then our Senior AS sir also had come there. He was passing us and saw that I and hubby were standing with a lot of people. So he stopped the vehicle and then when he understood what had happened he also joined us.No body wanted to leave the children there. By then a huge group of people had gathered. Everyone were comforting the children and everyone waited. Soon the father came hurriedly. The second Samaritan, the one who called confirmed the fathers name. Then he called the father's cell number just to be sure and saw that it rung. AS sir asked one of the children " Has your father come now?" . The boy said yes. Then, only after that , only after the father had both the children safe , did we disperse.

It took sometime even for me to get out of the after effects of the incident ( I cannot imagine what the parents must have gone through) but I realized something today.

Yes some vehicles did pass without noticing the children. But three people ran to take care of the children - children they didn't even know.  Yes, it was extremely dangerous, what not could have happened to the children but others realized it too and jumped in to protect those who needed the protection. Yes everyone is busy everyone is so involved in their lives but there are people who will stop to help however busy they are.

The World is still a beautiful place.
This is Still a Wonderful World.