Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hello I am back.

I have been back from the day before yesterday but felt so out of touch with the blogging world that I didnot feel like writing anything at all. The vacation was very good. We didnot go visiting many places as my mom was having a minor operation (she is better now  not to worry) and so we spent most of the time in the hospital. I was supposed to come back to Gurgaon last week but then mom was advised not to travel to her native place and so I stayed back to take care of her. She needs 6 weeks rest , I could stay only for two weeks after which my parents have gone back to my native place where they have relatives nearby.
This vacation was a bit different as we did not plan anything, we did not pack until the last moment and even at that time we only  ensured whether we had our tickets, we did not buy gifts, we did not clean the house before leaving, in short we did not do anything we did the last time we went visiting.
I had forgotten the surprised look many people have when they read my name and my husbands name together. They look once, then they look at our faces, then they look again in the ticket with a puzzled look (are they married???? what is a hindu guy and a muslim girl doing together???) and then, they let us pass. We find it funny.
Once we reached Trivandrum suddenly I felt different. It was as if suddenly we remembered that I am his wife and he is my husband. In Gurgaon we are pals, we are room mates, we are just two people living our lives together, we love, we fight, and we behave exactly the way we want to. Suddenly in Trivandrum I felt as if, oopsie I forgot I was his wife. The gold band in our fingers had a meaning suddenly.  Not that it was different yet it was, do you get what I mean????.  I had forgotten how it felt.
Mom was already admitted in the hospital and so we spent most of the time in the hospital this time. Saw my dad after two years. Took care of my mom to the best of my ability. They are getting old. Joint families do have their advantages. Mom and dad need someone to do their little chores. To run errands. It’s times like this I wish we lived a little nearer. Maybe not in the same house but adjacent houses should be good enough. Atleast in the same state or nearby ones. Sigh!
 I saw how the wife being travel dependent affect men at old age too. Even now my father has to run errands for my mom and he is tired. But he does it. If my mom knew how to drive , if she was a bit more independent it would have helped him. Unfortunately it was not so in their times. I see the same trend even nowadays. Husbands not allowing wives to drive because they think she will be too independent.( how can anyone be too independent I wonder?)  I hope they learn a lesson from this.  It’s better that the husband and wife share equal overlapping responsibilities than have stereotyped ones. Today you can work alone. but tomorrow???? what if you need help and she/he  is too old to learn your job.
I don’t drive too, but that’s because of fear. It’s equally bad. Have decided to fight it. Planning to buy a two wheeler first. Once I get confident in that , I will try a bigger vehicle.Wish me luck.
We did not go anywhere much . Just one day we went to MIL’s native place to visit her relatives. It was good that we went. I like meeting relatives. It is fun though I am really not that good in socializing. We also went for a Malayalam movie “ Diamond Necklace”.  Reminded me of how much I missed watching Malayalam and Tamil movies too. Outsiders know only of Bollywood movies.  There are so many regional movies which are so awesome yet they are not well known. Too bad.
This time when we went to kerala I was hoping I would be able to see more birds. Unfortunately  I couldnot see that many. However I saw some hawks, a treepie( I think) and a woodpecker from afar. As far as birds are concerned that’s it. However I did see a pupa. A golden chrysalis. I wish I knew what butterfly would come out of it. Unfortunately it had not yet taken wings. By the end of my stay , I did see that the butterfly was almost formed inside.  I wonder if it has emerged. Should ask Shyamu.
Here's a pic of the pupa. 

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