Friday, December 27, 2013

Three happy things 27.12.2013

1. Hubby heated  the leftover chicken pieces for lunch today and something happened and it dried out completely. He couldn't eat it but I couldn't resist it. Reminded me of the chewy mutton cubes specially made after ramzan. Loved chewing chewing and chewing them. I wonder if I can make them by design also.

2. I was worried about a report submission today as the safety margin was not as much as I wanted it to be. Found out a mistake and thought- gone case, my design is going to fail and sir is going to fry me. But guess what -  it actually helped to increase the safety margin. WAS SOOOOO happy.

3. Hubby was disappointed with a buy recently as it did not have the feature it had promised and there was nothing he could do about it. He was so so disappointed but I found it today in ebay. I have ordered it for him. Hopefully I won't be deceived. Keeping fingers crossed. My serotonin levels increase everytime I imagine him opening the present. It' s a secret btw- so no talking about it until 4th of Jan ok. This blog is OK, he never reads!!!
 

I miss...

- Taking afternoon walks, searching for birds in the sidewalk trees, soaking up the sun in these cold winter days.
- having a park nearby to take a walk when I am overwhelmed or sad, to clear my mind and come back home refreshed.
- having the quiet time to think and arrange my thoughts.
- blogging.
 

Monday, December 16, 2013

I am thankful...

... for having our new house. This has more facilities than we thought I had and they make our life very easy. It's as if we have been compensated completely and more.

...that Vavoo's cough seems to have improved. I was so afraid that he would have to go for nebulization. Hopefully it will not come back.

...that vavoo is a baby who eats well. I have heard of stories of children not eating at all. Atleast till now that phase has not begun fully.

...For having my husband in my life. I am proud of the fact that despite such not so good behavior he has faced the last two days from our ex house owners he has still not lost his decency. I admire him and there is a lot I have to learn from him.

...for getting a maid who makes my life easier. She may frustrate me in future but right now she is there.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Today I ...

...am suffering from Sleep deprivation.
...want to do a bit of setting up a new house but guest may come
...hope Vavoo is feeling better.
...am not sure if we should go to the doc or not.
...need to make a proper list of what I should do and not do for Vavoo.
...need to buy some supplies for cleaning the house tomorrow.
...need to plan for dinner, breakfast and lunch and vavoo's food.
...should be replying to the comments I got.
...should be reading Yasin for the house.
...should be doing that "kannu kedathirikkan" thing for Vavoo. He is getting sick too often. (Or it might just be winter :P)

But today ...
All I want to do is Sleep.
 

Friday, November 29, 2013

Conditions Apply


“It is a small compromise. You look great in sarees only. Why would you even want to go out with friends? Is my family not enough for you? You can do anything  you want. You have full freedom in this house”. He said .

“yes” She said.

 “I am free. Conditions Apply”

She left that day.

 
55 on Friday #WriteTribe

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Intangible Picture

Have you had a " Ah I wish I had a camera right now" moment?. I had one recently. We had gone to Ambience Mall a couple of weeks ago . We spent around 2 hours there and Vavoo had begun to chinigiffy (make ahu, hu, hu hm, ahu sounds) because he was getting hungry. We asked the security guard for the baby care room and he said it was near gate no 4. A bit of misunderstanding and not knowing which gate was where, resulted in me, hubby and Vavoo running here and there. I got tired in between so hubby took Vavoo in his arms and walked ahead of me in a faster pace.

Ambience Mall was well lit all golden and orangish with pretty lanterns hanging from above, it was not crowded that time, hubby was all in black and was walking fastly and I could only see Vavoo's face with surprisingly well combed hair peeking over his Achchan's shoulder. He was beaming with enjoyment  because he was bobbing up and down with every step his Achchan took. He smiled with delight , his eyes were twinkling like no star ever could and I felt that I saw him in his happiest moment. It was beautiful and I wished and wished that  I had some technology in which I could just capture it with my eyes or something and then download it and print it and savour that moment for ever and ever and ever.

I wish I could...





 

Monday, November 25, 2013

5 Random Thoughts 25.11.2013


www.rahi30384foru.blogspot.com

I have been trying to make a blog button - the one you can see just above. I don't know if I have done it properly but I am happy that I have tried something new.

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Every cloud has a silver lining. It was very difficult for us to stay in the house last week. So every evening, we either looked for another house or went to our friends' house. We invited our friends over for dinner on Saturday and played poker (not with money) and Jenga . It's such a long time since we played games. Maybe we can play Monopoly next weekend. Vavoo played passing the parcel with all of us, vavoo being the parcel.

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Vavoo, you can now sit without support for some 10 sec. Yesterday Amma wanted to take a pic of you but the space in the digital camera was over because of your videos. We have to buy a card with more space. By the way you have started phoo phooing medicine. Not good Vavoo Not good. You have to have medicine. Do you want to nebulize????? do you baby???? You love cerelac , though once you have your fill you start phooing that also. Hopefully it's just a phase. Now that you can sit by holding to the sides of your tub, we are going to remove the holder thing in your bath tub. Maybe we will soon buy you a high chair. You are already 6 months????

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This weekend was a good one. I had a proper haircut after so many years. I wanted to change my look a bit. I hate change and so normally have a U or a straight haircut. I was always afraid of trying new things as you have to live with a bad haircut until it grows away. Still this time I decided enough is enough and told the hairdresser to do what she thought would look nice. She gave me a layers haircut. It is good I must say. Not too different, yet a bit different.

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By the way we also got a house. It's  a good house. Actually it has all the shelves required so we don't know what to do with the shelves we have right now. It's a bit far from Vavoo's daycare but we will just have to adjust. The owner seems to be a good man, I liked the way he talked to the first floor tenants, though this previous experience has left a bad taste in the mouth. I guess it will be sometime before we trust someone that blindly anymore. Anyhow it's a life lesson. Around Rs35000/- for a lesson. Hmmmm pretty costly one though. Still everything is for good - let's just believe that for now and move forward. Have already spent a lot of emotional energy  on that now.

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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

House woes


Disclaimer: Long Loooooooooooooong rant ahead. But I need to get it out of my system. I realize it's a 4 page long rant. So have made it into sections.

The house hunting is going on still but we have a bit more of time. Yesterday for the first time in my life , I felt trapped. We actually felt cheated. I normally don't record anything bad that happens simply because- 1) who likes whining?
 2) who likes people who whine? And
 3) who wants to record things that are whinable? (OK dictionary - I know there is no word "whinable" but right now I seriously don't care)

It's not even been three months since we came to this house but the situation has become quite unbearable more because of the attitude of the people owning the house. (My dear last house owner! I appreciate you even more. You did not look very sophisticated, you did not speak that good...but you were great in things that mattered. You never were nonchalant. You gave us a good house and at such low rent)

The Initial Problems

We remember only 2 weekends which we have spent relaxed in this house because every single week something or the other happens. On the first week itself, we had no idea how the plumbing worked. Water did not come where it was supposed to come. When we called them they started berating the last owners (they had bought the house newly and we were their first ever tenants). They were of no use. It took around two weeks for us to figure out how the plumbing works. Then we found out that there was no shower in the bathroom. Come on its 2013. Anyhow that they kept and gave. Then we found that the geyser in the bathroom gave extreme hot water but there was no pipe for cold water. How is one supposed to bath in boiling water? It took a week and they made another pipe and gave us. That week we kind of adjusted. That same time we also found out that our water in the overhead tank was finishing very very quickly. We were around 4 people and vavoo was using cloth nappies so we had to use the washing machine at least two times a day. And the water tank would empty in one cycle. We found that they had a small 200 - 250l capacity tank. It was tiny. They figured out that we should not have a problem as instead of putting on the motor and filling the tank once every day we only had to do it say,2 or 3 times. What should be the problem? *Sarcasm*. If you think similar to them, I suggest you use such a small tank and see how difficult it is especially when you are at home with an infant in hand. Anyhow we asked them to keep a decent tank at least. Which they did after a week.

Backflow in the toilet Yuck!

Then my mom came and we found that there was backflow in the toilet. Yes! What we were not supposed to see we were cleaning on a regular basis. We told them but they were already getting fed up of the house. I guess they just wanted the returns and not the responsibility. It took around two weeks for them to take the issue seriously and it turned out to be a major issue.

The house owner was still ok, but his wife started trivializing issues. This house has only one bathroom and we have our mom who is aged and has medical conditions. The landlady was very insensitive - not going into the details. Frankly speaking I was beginning to get frustrated with her and had told my hubby that I was no longer going to talk to her about the house. I would not be able to bear nonsense anymore from her. Do you know some people who talk a lot of flowery sweet talk and do nothing? Yup! Voila, I hit jackpot this year.

Whenever I used to talk to her I used to feel as if I am talking to a wall. In fact I would have preferred the wall as at least it would not talk back insensibly. At least I could have pretended it was empathizing.

Anyhow two days were hell having no toilet. My mom got tensed, her depression returned and I am pretty sure I have scared her enough to never leave the comforts of her home again to come and stay with me. Who could blame her? I could not even give her the basic amenities.

After two days it became OK. Though they had not tiled the flooring of the toilet, we did not even ask, we just wanted the bathroom to be usable as soon as possible. And we are paying good rent for that house - believe me.

The Problem with the Water heater

Even during this time the heater was not working. There was some weird thing about the water levels in this house I guess, hot water would come in all pipes except the one it is supposed to. Somehow we adjusted but ultimately their rust ridden 20 year old heater died. We kept our very much newer heater in the bathroom but the issue persisted. We told them. They did not take us seriously and by that time they were behaving as if we were disturbing them so much so we began to deal with things on our own from our own pockets as we thought our peace of mind was more important than money. And frankly speaking the landlady's attitude was getting on to our nerves.

That coveted Diwali Weekend...

It was the Diwali weekend. My parents had left, we were having three days leave and we were looking forward to spending it with Vavoo leisurely. Three other guests were also coming that weekend. Even though this house had bogged us down we decided to light up the house this Diwali and just celebrate. We were trying to put on the lights when we heard water flowing somewhere. Guess what, Water was flowing from the walls in the bathroom. Some connection had burst. In two hours we would have guests for the weekend and water was flowing out of walls. It was a Diwali weekend.... which plumber would be free? Ultimately we got one and he came just because he felt sorry for us. It turned out to be a heavy duty work. Apparently the plumbing was of low quality and we using the washing machine in the pipe were stressing it out and hence it had a problem. He made it right somehow and told us to use it very very carefully. Obviously money came out of our pocket. We told the landlord about it but as expected, he was getting fed up with the house he had bought.

Gosh this has already become too long but it's just half the story.

Finding how "People live with one pipe also"

Why were we using the washing machine connected to the bathroom do you ask? Well there is a backstory here also. When we decided to take this house, the main attraction was a back room which was built extra and the pipes in the backyard. We thought we would just keep the washing machine there. But only when we came to the house, we saw that the pipes there worked only when the direct supply came and that too if we switched on another motor. Using the machine there was no longer possible. When hey realized that they said they would put a pipe for us (After all it was the amenity which we were told was there) After 3 weeks and water flooding our kitchen front area because of water flowing outside the bathroom to the hall every time the machine ran thanks to horrible flooring level of the bathroom, we asked them if we could do the work and take it out of the rent.

The landowner said, they would definitely do it, but they did not. It was three weeks before this happened.  The next day when the land lady came to see the problem area (just see mind you, not do anything about it) we asked her about the pipe in the back yard once again. She said - politely as always, that it was in their mind and they would definitely do it in two weeks. The two weeks have gone and they have not breathed a word about it. In the meantime she also commented how people do live with one pipe in their house also. Hubby did not think this comment even worth honoring. She passes many such comments which were plain insensitive. As if people who live with one pipe would give this much rent and live in such a big house.

So now the only usable pipe was the one in which the heater was connected and the one in the kitchen. So we connected the washing machine to the kitchen/ geyser as and when it was possible. Our water machine was not hot water compatible so the simple act of putting on washing machine itself required a lot of thought from then on.

At this point we thought that enough is enough. If there was one more problem with the house we will shift. But it was a decision we did not want to make because

1) Vavoo was happy in his daycare and the location was perfect for me to come and see him in lunch which may not be possible if we went somewhere else.

2) Really! We just shifted..... What an effort and Money does not grow in trees. We already lost half month rent in the other house.

The Last straw

After this last week came the issue of the burning geyser.  As usual we called up the landlord and he told us to go and tell his wife to come take a look at it. I went there. She came out with a "oh here they come again look. Let me be patient martyr look". I was tensed and worried obviously- the bathroom was smoking. I told her something weird had happened and could she come and look at it. She started saying "what will I do coming and looking at it. IF you and our husband are saying there is a problem then there must be. What is the point of me coming and looking at it..Blah blah." I felt as if she was meaning that we were disturbing her too much so I told her that her husband told her to come and look which she did not hear at all. And I repeated it once again. Suddenly she turned to me and said. “Why are you talking so roughly to me? I always talk so lovingly to you. You always talk so rough. I don't like it. It's there in my mind. I don't even like talking to you but because you smile at me, I also smile"

I was shocked. Till now, despite all the problems above, we have never complained or said what a horrible house they had given to us... though we informed them of what was happening, we never complained. We were always patient and empathized with them because we felt they had had a rough deal too. Nobody in that colony knows of how extremely terrible it was to live in that house. There was a bathroom full of smoke and the only problem this lady had was with the way I talked to her.  Really!

The Light bulb moment

It was a light bulb moment for me and I realized this person has no intention of doing anything for the house. It was something I always knew but it became final for me that there house owners were not the kind to take responsibility for the house. I told sorry and left. She had a problem with that too as I did not stand and listen to her admonishing me. Frankly speaking, I simply thought it was worthless standing there. I had listened to what she said. I had apologized. My hubby was listening and he was surprised when he heard me apologizing. He was even more surprised when I said I had apologized because I talked roughly. I was practically pleading at first.

We realized that we had to shift now. There was no heater. Putting on the washing machine was a head ach. It was winter and the house was a safety Hazard. We thought that they would be pretty happy to see us go too as whenever the problems came they kept saying how it was alright if we looked for another house and how they wouldnot complain and blah blah flowery talk. In fact I have felt that they actually wanted us to leave. But by this time I had already become weary of them. They had one month rent as safety deposit and I was almost sure that they would not give it back. My hubby however believed in the best of people.

How we realized that we were trapped.

He called the landowner yesterday night -(btw we were trying to talk to them for two days but they are rarely available) and told them that we were looking for a new house and that as he knew about the problems we were facing could he please waive off the one month notice we had to give. His tone changed and he point blank refused. So hubby said "OK but let the notice be from 15th of November to 15th of December. He refused for that too saying he won't get any tenant and that we had to stay here till Dec 31st and then only he would give back the deposit - .i.e. we have to pay December rent too. His broken promises obviously were not an issue for him. With his track record I am sure even if we stay till Dec 31st this guy is not going to give us our deposit back. Mark my words. We had given our previous land owner just 20 days yet he returned every rupee. Never before have I met a house owner like this. My PG uncle was miserly in many things but even he did not make an issue.

A person who is good will be good always. Personally we feel pretty miserable  right now. I and hubby have never dealt with such cheapness before. Some advice us to make a hallaboo, not pay rent the next month and to cut from the deposit but .... that would make us feel even more bad.

2013 has been a year of a lot of emotional stress. The only reason I would say 2013 was good would be because of Vavoo. Only because of him 2013, I will look back at you with fondness . Otherwise I can't wait for 2014 to come.

OK now I feel bad.

 I guess 2013, you were necessary for me to grow as a person. You have given back much that I had lost. So I guess this pain was necessary. After all you gave me my peace.......in some unexpected ways.



Saturday, November 16, 2013

5 Random Thoughts

I had subscribed myself to Write Tribe for prompts so that I would write something every week. However this time it was to write a letter to someone who caused you pain; some one I wished I could forgive. Unfortunately I cannot do that. It is at such times I wish I was writing anonymously. Even then would I have written it? I doubt that. If I write a letter to someone, it will definitely become the property of the person I have written it for, so how do I share it publicly? If it was something nice or had some message, maybe it would have been a different matter. Of course the letter could always be fiction. For now, I guess I will just stay put.

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Rudyard Kipling's IF has helped me a lot. Right now these lines feel so relevant to me.
                     
 If you can keep your head when all about you
  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
  But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
  Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
  And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
  If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
  And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
  Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
  And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
  And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
  And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
  To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
  Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
  Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
  If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
  With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
  And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Courtesy :  WIKIPEDIA

I think I will write down the verses and stick on my cupboard so that they can always remind me what's important and what is not.

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Yesterday Vavoo turned 6 months. My little baby. You are  a sweet child vavoo. Capturing the heart of everyone who sees you. I love to hear you talk. You say aauuu and aaaaa and ghaaaa and grrrrrrrrr. You have recently learnt that your legs are stronger than before and so your new thing this week is to try to stand and suddenly you flop down /forward/backward which gives both me and your achchan mini heart attacks. You love climbing over us to go to the other side to take a toy even if there is space to crawl in bed. You have learnt to crawl a bit. You sometime sit with one hand supported and look at us to see if we are watching you. You have started using your judgements also . The other day achchan kept two toys one a bit far and one a bit nearer in a sort of triangle. You looked at both as if to see which was worthwhile and then wriggled to the toy that you liked more despite the fact that it was a bit further. You have began to jump from one person to another. Normally you give a bashful smile when someone smiles at you but we hardly saw that this week. Will we see more of it or have you already outgrown that phase too?You are so squirmy and wriggly - as if the moment you learn to walk you are going to run every where. My love, my sweetheart.....

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This weekend is going to be pretty busy. This house has a lot of issues. Yesterday was the last straw. The geyser started burning on it's own accord. Hubby felt so helpless as the plug was off and when he tried to remove it, it would not budge. Luckily we were there in the house at that time. So going house hunting this weekend.

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??? - nothing coming to my mind rightnow!!!!! Hope you guys have a great weekend. I started this post with a serious note. Right now, I feel as if I am going to go on a treasure hunt. Any tips on what to look out for when we go  house hunting especially in Gurgaon?. mmmm?

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Friday, November 8, 2013

On First 25 from 101 things to do in 1001 days


 
When I started this project, I sincerely wanted to do each and every one of them. In my naivety I had written down some extremely unrealistic goals. Within the first 6 months I found out I was not going to finish many of them. But I can't say I am disappointed. This list has helped me try many things I wanted to do and also has given me closure on many things which I no longer want to do.

My challenge finishes in March 2014 and I just wanted to go through the list to see what all are viable and what I should just cross off my list. 101 is 75 too many hence just going through the first 25 for now.


1. Finish this list. (Completed on 8/07/2011)

Did complete. It was not easy. This itself was a task. I intend to start another project once March is over, but with a smaller list and a smaller time frame. However this list did help me list down the many things I wanted to do.

2. Donate Blood.

Looks like B+ve is abundantly available. No one needs it. I could have gone to the Blood bank and will do it too someday. What I underestimated was the one particular goal which took a toll on me for 9months and still ongoing that I really did not have the time or energy to concentrate on other goals ;). Definitely no regrets :)

3. Get an Organ Donation Card.

That I did and made sure my hubby knows that I am serious about it. Rather simple to do so. I must say. Now I feel a sense of responsibility towards my body. I mean, it can be of use to someone else too you know.

4. Read 10 Autobiographies/Biographies (0/10).
            Started with "Mein Kempf". I actually liked it - the first volume at least. But never read any other.

 5. Identify 10 local birds in Gurgaon Locality (10/10).

Loved this goal. I am so happy I did it. I understood that I DO like bird watching. Found a  hobby :)

6. See a shooting star.

Hoping to see one this winter. Though will have to gaze the sky for some time. Hopefully I will see one and I will make a wish and hopefully it will come true

7. Go for all the Heritage Walks organized by INTACH Delhi chapter. (Except Mehrauli walk)

            I am so glad I did this. There is one more to attend and I have plans to attend it this month end. We actually saw Delhi. Proper Delhi. Waking up early morning, going in the metro, going on a walk through the historic ruins..... It was fun. I wish there were many more such walks.

8. Go for a Moon walk organized by Let's Walk Gurgaon.

            Hubby was not very comfortable going out at midnight. It's Gurgaon after all. By the time we got a car I was not in a condition to do long walks.

9. Review a book every month. (1/33)

Ambitious. Did not do it.

10. Make Dosa Batter. (26.07.2011)

Make it all the time now. Amma bought me a tiny grinder. No store bought batter any more. Yay!!!!


11. Make Appam Batter.

            I always have a starting trouble and I put such things in list to overcome that. I will definitely make Appam batter and preferably this month itself. Wait ok.

12. Try 50 recipes I have not tried before.

            Although I have recorded only 26 in my foodings page, I am sure I have made at least 35-40 recipes. Does recording only count?

13. Get a pedicure again.

            Have to do it. This month surely!!!!

14. To have an addition to the family.

:) This is the Goal I was talking about  in Goal 2. Really how extremely silly of me to actually make a goal. I'm so thankful to that Supreme Being who has made this possible. Vavoo... you are a super duper addition.

15. Move to South India.

OK, not going to happen... unless someone somewhere intervenes.

16. Design a Building (min 3 storey).
            Again...Nope! No opportunity. Anyone want to give me an opportunity???? Will do it for free!!! IS codes only please
J

 17. Make a playlist of 101 fav. songs.

            When I began making a playlist I realized, I don't have that many fav. songs. Maybe 10. I did make a list of some sort. I have to dig it up.

18. Spend a day and night in a house boat.

            Soooooooooo much wanted to, but our holls are spent in native place and well it’s always less to incorporate this too. Still ...someday.

19. Fast for a day in Ramzan.

            Did not.... No longer possible. Next Ramzan is after March.

20. Have a "fruits only for food" day.

Did not. Won't anymore. Am perpetually hungry.

21. Write one more Poem. (Done)

Do you know I have written only one poem after 2006? I have no idea why it is so. Will I ever be able to write another one again!

 22. Read the Quran once (The Arabic one).
            
               Again did not.

23. Learn one of the language - Sanskrit/Arabic/Telugu.

Nope. Not possible.

24. Go for at least 6 classes of yoga.

We did go for Yoga Classes. But stopped after taking 5 classes. The amount of exercise was too much for me. My whole body was aching. And we were being bended and molded into different stances that frankly I was afraid it might affect our chances of having a baby. We wanted to have vavoo at that time.

25. Learn to play the Guitar.

Wanted to. Joined one place. Did not like the way it was being taught. He was just teaching songs. So left. After that I found I could not schedule my time properly. I will learn to play someday. But a good teacher is so absolutely necessary.


Viable Goals

6. See a shooting star

7. Go for all the Heritage Walks organized by INTACH Delhi chapter. (Except Mehrauli walk)

11. Make Appam Batter.

12. Try 50 recipes I have not tried before.

13. Get a pedicure again.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Life Lessons - Truth Based on Belief

A couple of months ago one of our uncle who is settled in UAE came to visit us. He is a jolly jolly person who is real fun. He loves having debates and on course of one of the conversations, he asked me if I would answer one of his questions. I knew where this was going; he loves controversies. At first I said "oh no no uncle. no need" But he pursued and I reluctantly agreed. "Tell me'' , he said.

 "Which came first? Mecca or Islam?"

"Anyone who knows the history of Islam knows that Mecca came first." I replied.

I guess he did not expect me to answer so, for he said." But no Arabi would accept that. I have asked many, showed them their own history but they would not accept it." He ejaculated. I found that amazing because I did not think there should be any confusion, after all it's recorded history. But I did not say anything at that time.

I kept wondering about it when suddenly it occurred to me that for a Muslim Islam was there from the time Adam was created. So from a Muslim's point of view, obviously Islam came first. But will a non Muslim ever accept that? Ofcourse not. For a non Mulsim, Islam originated sometime in the 7th Centuary AD. But both are correct in their reasoning based on their logic. The Arabi did not lie  but neither did  uncle. I realized then that as far as believes of people are concerned, there's no one thing that's true. It's all true.


Write Tribe

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

5 Reasons why the weekend was awesome.

1. Saw a Movie.
                              It's a long time since I and hubby enjoyed a movie together uninterrupted. I and hubby enjoy watching movies together and we were missing it very much. So this weekend, I put off my unnecessary maternal guilt feelings, and watched Despicable me2 in the other room with my hubby. Our mind was partly occupied (Ready to jump and run the moment we heard our son) but we saw and enjoyed something together. And it felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.  Despicable Me 2 is far better than DM1. Some of the scenes seemed to be copied from other movies. I am not sure if it was supposed to be so. Still, we laughed a lot.

2. Had a Spontaneous Outing.
                             There was this lunch / get together in the colony park and I and hubby had given  money for the lunch. We both are introverts but we wanted to change that a bit. So Sunday afternoon we dressed up, got vavoo ready, and took great pics (which unfortunately I cannot upload because of no photo policy). But when we got to the park I saw that a) it was not getting started and b) No one I knew was there. I ran to my neighbors but found that they were not going. Hubby was getting hungry and our interest had now waned completely. Suddenly we decided we would go for a ride and have lunch and come back. We rarely go out this spontaneously because of vavoo but were pleasantly surprised to learn that it was not thaaaaaaaaaaaat much of a problem after all. In fact, wipes, diapers, an extra change of clothes, two hand towels, 2 toys, a pram and we were off.  Vavoo was a model baby and hardly made a sound except in the very end. He was curious and was looking at everyone. And when he was bored we just gave him his teether which he munched off happily.
We went to the Pizza place we always went to before I got pregnant, had the same Egyptian Pizza and Cairo Salad. I had decided that if my stomach made problems, I would deal with it then and not worry about it now. So I enjoyed them. We also tried the Lasagne. It was OK. Then we browsed shops for earrings but found them way too costly. By that time vavoo was hungry so we came back.

3. Found a Nursery.
                               Plant nursery :). I have always wanted a garden and one of the main attractions of a ground floor house was the attached garden it had. However when our house owner - an avid plant lover dealt with the garden in the way she saw fit without even informing me I understood that the garden was not actually mine after all. She had also told me not to keep such and such plants. I lost interest in my garden after that. However I have always wanted to have at least a few pots of my own.
On our way back from the outing, I saw one nursery, got down, and got some plants and some mud and a sack of bio fertilizer. AND I am happy.

One problem though.

Absolutely no idea as to how to start the gardening - how and when to apply the bio fertilizer and all.
Read a lot of web pages but they don't seem to be much of a help. So I am going to do what I think is right. Hopefully the plants will thrive. Will keep you posted. Suggestions/Tips are welcome.

My plants :)



4. Discovered Cargos.
                                     Hubby always told me to try wearing cargos. He said it was comfortable. We searched for ladies cargos but never got it. Anyhow I was not a very big fan as I felt they were excessively bulky and of no use with kurtas (my normal wear) and that they were non-office dress. However this time in an emergency situation (Vavoo was crying and I needed to get him to the park ASAP)
I pulled up the only pants available in hand reach which was hubby's cargos and was off. It felt so good and comfortable. Seeing how much I liked them hubby gave them to me for my use. It's so much better than the track suits I wear at house. Loved it.

5. Got an awesome Compliment.
                Made a good and satisfying dinner on Friday. Rice, Sāmbhar and cherupayar thoran (Green Gram). For some days now I had switched to the easy ways due to time constraint. So, I decided to make the Sāmbhar the long way instead of the pressure cooker easy way in which you put all the tadka and ingredients in one go and make it within 15 min. Hubby loves my cherupayar thoran and so I wanted to make it for him since it was ages since I made it. So, I was a bit disappointed when I saw that I had overcooked the green grams. However, it came awesome and my hubby said." However you make the cherupayar thoran it comes awesome. Just like Beama Ammooma. Looks like you have her blessings". Beama Ammooma is his Fav. Grandma and an extremely great cook. So this compliment from my hubby sounded very very sweet.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Three cheers for Friday

Friday Means....

- 2 days and 3 nights of relaxed time to spend with my boys.
- My little one may sleep till late in the morning tomorrow and get up whenever he wants to as little ones should.
- He need not have formula AT ALL for two days.
- We will be able to enjoy him completely without having any time frame in mind.
- I need not bother about next day's lunch tonight itself.

Yea for Friday :) :) :)

Friday, October 11, 2013

Changes


Lots have happened in the last month. We have shifted our house.. The move would have been sentimental if hubby and me had not fallen sick that same week. So we were pretty happy to just somehow transfer our stuff from one house to the other.  We had thought shifting would be easy . We took the house 10 days in advance so that we could shift slowly and set the house simultaneously. It sounded good in theory. Did not happen. What happened was that we literally dumped our stuff in the extra room. Point to know : One has to stay in a house to know exactly where goes where.

The houses in the lane being the same type of construction, we thought that everything - the connections and plumping and electric lines, would be of the same pattern. But the previous owners were so bizarre that for the first two weeks, we and our new house owners were racking our brains trying to figure out how the basic amenities worked. Nothing made sense. It took a month for us to make peace with the house. Problems still exist but we are no longer frustrated with it. It was the same with our first house too.  But in the end we had fallen in love with it. Let us see.

My maternity leave is over and I joined office on Oct1. Baby is going to daycare. He seems to be pretty Ok there. The care givers are nice people and there are so many children there that he seems to be happy. However it is pretty difficult to leave him there and go. At first I used to be the one who left him. But when it felt too difficult my hubby decided to do it but that was difficult too. Now we do it together. Sometimes, I have people judging me for putting my child to day care. What is good for a baby?; God only knows. A working mother or a non-working mother? I was brought up by a stay at home mom and my husband was brought up by a working mother with others taking care of him in the mornings. I find no extra amazing qualities or emotional damage in either of us. Both of us are pretty ordinary and extraordinary in our own way. Both of us have similar family relations and are messed up and good enough  almost to the same level

Ideally I had intended to work only after two years. I have always declared that intent very vocally. Yet here I am; back in office. I have found that I end up doing stuff I vehemently oppose. God’s reminder not to be so cocksure of what I will do ????? Maybe.

People think that working moms go to work for their career. And that they are not willing to sacrifice their career for their babies. I don't think it is that simple. Before baby was born one of my friends told me that people will judge working moms but not to bother about such people because they don't not know what financial constraints the mother may have. True. However, now I also I feel that money or career need not be the only reasons moms go out to work. I can list at least 3 reasons which don't sound good or important enough but I suspect they drive me more than money or career. The problem is we have a set of acceptable reasons and most of us justify our actions citing them. And even if somebody cites those reasons truthfully, the reasons are again lumped into these two categories - money and career.

Self respect,  A Role model, Principles or simply happiness...  They don't sound real enough, do they? And what about that real reason which is too personal to be shared? Why simply judge?

As far as I am concerned, I intend to go with the flow keeping my eyes open. Watching every moment and if required, change course. And in the end just have faith that whatever happened was meant to happen. Whatever decision taken was the best decision.

 

 

Good Bye dear house, Now it's time to Move....

This post was meant for Sept 2nd. It more than a month but couldnot post it then. Ah better late than never. No?

Did I not say that 2013 was going to be a year of changes. Well so it is. My son was born. We are also shifting our house now. Now, we live in a first floor house but our parents said that it would be convenient to have a ground floor house so when we got one in the same lane we jumped to the opportunity. We have already got the keys of the house and have started our official shifting. Hopefully we will shift completely by 8th of this month.

We shifted our books yesterday. We had no idea that we had this many books. Proud? Yes. One good thing about that house is that they have this showcase kind of thing in the hall. We have converted it to our book shelf. It's perfect for the archies, enidblytons, agatha christies and other books of the same size. However the tinitns and Buddha series and harry potter and other big books had to be put in other shelves. Still we are extremely happy.

The first time we stuck the To - let board in front of our present house we felt bad. It was our first house. We built our happiness here. Though our marriage was on July 1st I always felt that we were truly married only on July 15th, the day we started our life here in this house Somehow in my head my wedding day is July 15th. Slowly slowly we made it a home from  a house. The other day we gave a party for our friends so that they may meet our son and one of them, a bachelor remarked.... 'ah now this house feels like a home'. And it felt good.

I don't know why some people say that once you get married your life is over, once you grow up there is no fun. The way I see it I learn new new things with every passing year. And my horizons just grow. For eg, I had no idea how to remove the air lock in a pump - something we have to do in a daily basis. There are so many things to do around the house, things you have never done before- things which ....well your dad and mom used to do.

So many memories....

---the very first afternoon when I and A cleaned the house while hubby and GC went and bought the cooler and the inverter (I got down on my knees and scrubbed the floor and I think A was impressed because somewhere I think he thought city girls don't know how to work.... Psssh.)

----the very first day we forgot to off the motor of the pump and it ran the whole night and our neighbor was calling us the whole night and we did not even hear because our new cooler was making such a huge sound.

Then we realized that water was not going up because of air lock( now what was that???!!!!) and the S aunty taught us what to do and we bought our first tool set.

----The first time we went furniture shopping and made some huge blunders that I would not make again.
Well we did make some good choices too.

-----Enjoying the first winter, fog , hailstones...

-----Sky watching in the night, lunar eclipse.....

-----Starting this blog, meeting wonderful people, 101 things to do in 1001 days and Joy of giving cards

-----Truly beginning to know my husband and vise-verse- I am sure.

-----Watched movies every single day....

-----Watching "Masterchef Austrialia" and then vowing to sleep as it was 10, then somehow ending up watching "Bones" and then watching "How I met your mother" and finally drifting off to sleep in front of the TV.

------Then there was this baby coconut tree???!!!! Something that hubby showed me which comes in a coconut if you keep it for a loooooooooooooong time. I had never tasted it before and it tasted awesome and apparently it is extremely nutritious. Frankly it felt nice to see some thing I had never seen before.

In case you are wondering what is "???!!!!". I use it when I don't know how to explain something and am just using something to describe it.

------ Trying to use an induction plate stove and making a mess of it. My omelets became scrambled eggs.  I really cannot get the hang of it. Give me a proper gas stove anytime please.

------ The Rat infestation and our fight against it. We did a lot of planning at that time.

------First experiments with biryani, fried rice, and many other dishes which my valiant husband gobbled without saying a word, except once when he got a bit angry when the salt became double and then I became angry that he became angry!!!!! Then we both kissed and made up like good children.

I guess the memories are too many  and I cant list even half of them here. I am glad I have this blog. I have preserved many of my memories in the form of posts. This was a happy house. I hope this is a happy house for anybody who comes here. Hopefully our next house will be a happy one too. Ya Allah.  Thanks for all the happiness you have given us in this house.Bless the future occupants of this house too as you have blessed us. Looking forward to having good times in the next house as well.
*Prayers*





Saturday, August 24, 2013

How's motherhood?

A question which everyone asks me nowadays - being a new mom.

When they laid him besides me in the crook of my arm close to my chest fully covered with just his face and a tiny hand visible, I felt peace. I felt content. I was overjoyed when his fingers resembles mine , when I saw his shapely nails.He was beautiful. I was content. That's the feeling I have. A contented, a satisfied, a peaceful feeling....something which was as soft as a baby pink rose.

There were too many things in my mind the first few weeks so I was not really able to enjoy my motherhood as much as I would have liked but every time he would be close to my heart feeding and every time he had his fill  I felt a joy. He had his share of crying.... oh a lot..... but  sometimes it gave me a guilty pleasure when he would be calm once he came to my hands. The power of being a mother , the power of that connection .....I cannot describe. A filling feeling? I don't know.Though now he shares that connection with his daddy too.

I wont say that he has given me a new found purpose or that he has changed my life drastically . He has not. To tell the truth I feel as if he was always there. A lot has changed still it feels as if nothing has. Everything feels the same. As if he was always there.

Monday, July 29, 2013

He is here

Hello,
I am back..... hopefully I will be consistent from now on. You are reading the blog of a proud mommy of a beautiful little baby boy of 10 weeks. He is sleeping right now which gives me the precious time to share this with you guys. We have named him Aman which means peace in Hindi. And by God's grace he is a pretty peaceful baby. I am stopping for now. Will be back soon (Again hopefully). Just wanted to say hi. Hope all of you are doing good.

Love
Rahmath

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Decluttering thoughts on...

… Last month
…Anchor Stitch Kit
…The Alchemist and me
…Soul mates
…Love marriages and the “Real thing” test.
…The Groom’s perspective in a Love Marriage.

I keep wondering whether today I should write my "goodbye for now, see you after the break" post. This is going to be more of a mail that a blog post.

One month has gone and I guess it went quickly though when it was going it felt to be very slow. Hubby is still in Gurgaon. I would have liked his presence here, but well what can one do; Sigh! Anyhow this has been a good one month. I have been fortunate enough to spend time with my in laws and my parents. All of them have taken good care of me so I can't wait to regain my strength so that I can give them a break soon. Two months more for that...

***

Every day is the same so there is not much to write about. I have started an Anchor stitch Kit. I don't think I will be able to finish it soon however. It's kind of mechanical but one has to concentrate too. My stomach feels upset for some reason. It's like the maze game where you move and end up in a dead end, move and dead end, move and dead end and in the end your stomach begins to churn. Yet you can't stop as it is addictive. Long satin stitches for this Stitch kit have the same effect. I have decided to not touch it anymore today though I am sorely tempted.

***

I also started reading "Brida" by Paulo Coelho. Seems interesting though I have never liked any book of his as much as I have liked "The Alchemist". The Alchemist is all about following your dreams but for me, it was about second chances too. The English man who came to learn Alchemy...... He started once again. That's life for you. I have always wanted to learn to dance and sing. It was not encouraged in our house. Every Year I would think next year I will do it, and then I turned 9, 10, 11,12,13,14...... And then I decided I was too old. The book made me realize maybe I was not too old after all. Thus when I was 25 I bought my first guitar and started my guitar lessons. I could not continue after a month as I had to shift places and I haven't found a good teacher. Something always came up. But I have my guitar and I have the wish to learn. MIL says she would have enrolled me to music and dance classes if I had expressed the wish before itself. Ah.... I will do it someday....I am not too old for that. I will never be old to pursue my dreams anymore.

***

"Brida" is all about soul mates I guess.... That seems to be the theme. Do you believe in soul mates? I am yet to decide. I guess hubby is my soul mate but what if I think so only because I have not met my actual soul mate? He and I are made for each other, we are always in sync and perfect at least that's what I feel. But what if I just think so because my actual soul mate has not come in front of me? Until my hubby came into my life, I didn’t know what I was missing. I was pretty happy then too. I would not have missed anything because I didn’t know it existed in the first place. But if he was not my soul mate could I have written about this so casually in this post knowing that he would understand what I was writing?  I wonder what this soul mate thing means!

***

A couple of days ago I was thinking of how hubby and I were made to wait for two years apart from the 5 years we knew each other - to know if I our decision was not on a whim, to know if our love was a "real thing". I did wonder what this "real thing" meant. In the two years that we had to wait had we proved that it was indeed the real thing? But these two years had taken a toll on our relationship; another six months would have broken it completely. If so then did it mean that it would have not been the real thing after all? Then does it mean that the last app. three years of our marriage was a lie?

I also did wonder why only love marriages were subjected to such tests.  Waiting waiting waiting with all kinds of emotional pressures. It's difficult. I did wonder..... How do people decide if the partner selected through arranged marriage was the "real thing"? Portfolios; Pics; and a half an hour talk with maybe one or two meetings seems to been enough for them to decide if that was a real thing or not. Then why 2 years for a choice marriage to be proved to be a real thing? Does it make sense?

An unbreakable plate is unbreakable only if it is used in the way it is supposed to be used. If I fling it with full force on the floor, jump on it and literally subject it to more than it can bear, it is going to break. After that is it fair to complain...Oh, the plate broke. Marriages are not unbreakable. If it is subjected to that much pressure any marriage is bound to fail. I wonder if it is really possible to decide if a relationship is "real" or not based on the waiting game. Of course I don't mean that one should be hasty in getting into or out of relationships but I find it to be humiliating for couples of choice marriages alone to be subjected to these kinds of tests. It's discrimination. Don't you think? But then again, of course it is. What should one expect?

***

Talking about love marriage, recently someone had written in about a relationship crisis she was facing. Her bf's parents were not agreeing. Her first mail was optimistic asking for opinions on how to tackle the issue. Lots of comments came in citing "red flags". Me? Interestingly I could see none. I could see nothing which was not expected in such a case. She had a discussion and subsequently they broke up because the guy buckled out. I was shocked. I guess the guy is to be found fault with, according to her recent reply to me but weird me at that time, I somehow empathized with him. It's interesting, when a gal buckles down to  societal and parental pressure she is a victim when a guy does the same he is gall less, gutless, spineless and ball less. I wonder if any women were accused of being uterus less. I guess I empathized with him because I identified with him more than I identified with the gal. Still I guess the guy is to blame.

However this business put another idea into my head. After more than two and a half years of marriage, I asked my hubby the question...." How was that time for you when we were trying to convince our parents?"
"It was difficult" he said.
"But how was it difficult?" I persisted.
"It was difficult that's all" he said. And this is a guy who can describe something that happened in 10 min for around an hour.
"No tell me”, I urged.
He started and then broke off.... He said it seemed so childish for him to complain when I, his parents and my parents were suffering so much. It felt so childish for him to feel any pain.

I felt like a cad.

Yup, at that time I had showed my disappointment, I was so angry, his had parents showed their disappointment. He was sandwiched between me and his parents. Still, it’s interesting, how everyone's pain was important as opposed to the pain of the groom in question. The trials and tribulations of the guy were of no consequence. I had ventured out to give a different perspective to that girl and in the end ended up having a different perspective myself. For that I am thankful. For now I appreciate my husband more than I did before.

***

There are still people who think feminism is about the girl. It's not...Feminism is equality. It's a pity that the name came to be so. Friends sometimes look at my hubby with pity for he has got a feminist wife. How would they know that it was he who taught me what feminism was but of course that's another story.

Long enough
Stopping for now,

Did anyone reach here????

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A thought

Somebody once told me that every pregnancy was different. I am beginning to think every marriage is also so.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

In Front of the Taj Mahal



I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder and with me and hubby being in different ends of the country, everything reminds me of the times we spent together.

Perhaps it would not be an entire truth if I said we never thought of each other as more than friends during graduation at least not in the very end. Of course, our friendship was too precious to be spoilt by a passing fancy. Practicality and logic always took the first place as compared to any ideas of romance. Still, I remember an incident in the All India Tour when we went to see the Taj Mahal. Everyone was taking photographs in front of the Taj Mahal. I had left my camera behind in the bus and was too proud to ask anybody to take one of my photos. I was loitering around when he came to me after his session of photos.

“Are you sure you don’t want a photo in front of the Taj Mahal?” He asked. “Everyone is taking. I can take one of yours you know” he said.

I was still hesitant, still proud. So I said to him smiling “I will come here once again with my better half and at that time, I will take a photo with him”. I looked up at him and suddenly from depth of my heart came a voice. ‘How I wish that it would be you’. Of course, I did not say anything at that time.

Years later when I confessed to him of this conversation and the thought which came with it, he said he remembered it very well.  Because at that very moment, he had thought “I wish that your better half was me”.  Two wishes which arose like a gentle breeze, touched us briefly and finding no keeper, floated away for the time being…

I guess the souls of Mumtaz Mahal and Shahjahan still lingered in that mausoleum.

Maybe they took pity on these wishes and gave them a temporary refuge. 

Maybe they recognized the love that lay buried somewhere deep in our hearts. 

And maybe they appealed to the Almighty for us; 

for I did go back to the Taj Mahal.

I did take the photo in front of it with my better half.

And both our wishes had come true.

Touch Wood.