Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Stuck in the middle

Today I was reading this post and some of the comments below it about the Hijab (The practice of Muslim women covering themselves from top to bottom due to religious obligations). I normally refrain from commenting on this topic. Though some commentators have talked about the fact that some women do wear it by choice, some others think that these women think they have a choice and some others say that they are talking about people who don’t have a choice. I am not sure how to address the reactions and counter arguments which come to my mind. Maybe someday I will.

I personally am a confused person as far as adopting the practice of covering my hair goes. Personally I actually like covering my hair. I actually like it but I don’t do it because someone, someone who I have an extremely high regard for told me I was not a good girl if I did not wear the scarf. At that point of life, I did not lie, I never gossiped, I was never jealous or envious of others, I took the ‘right’ path even if was against my peer’s path, I always thought of the other person first whether that person was good to me or not. So naturally, I was irked. I was so irked that I refused to wear the head scarf after that. I did not think a mere scarf over my hair could define how “good” I was.

I actually like wearing the scarf but I am afraid to do so. I am afraid to do so because I don’t know how I will be perceived by the non-scarf wearers (and the scarf wearers) if I suddenly adopt wearing the scarf. I don’t want to be perceived as a religious douche and I don’t want to be thought as a good Muslim just because I wear the head scarf. I don’t think my faith is dependent on how I dress.  I am supposed to be liberated but in reality, am I??? Am I not coerced into something too? So where do people like me stand? I am yet to find the answer.

 On a continuing yet different topic, what actually does this word “Choice” means?
 Like in the case of new moms. I see many people take sabbaticals of two to three years for the upbringing of the baby until he/she becomes a kid. They regret that their life comes to a standstill, they lose opportunities because of this but they say it's ok because they say it’s their choice, for their family for their baby. But is it? Do they have an equal or at least nearly equal alternative?  Then how can that be a choice when there are no reasonable options?

I would be judged either ways. I can live with it, but why should I be judged at all?

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