Friday, October 11, 2013

Changes


Lots have happened in the last month. We have shifted our house.. The move would have been sentimental if hubby and me had not fallen sick that same week. So we were pretty happy to just somehow transfer our stuff from one house to the other.  We had thought shifting would be easy . We took the house 10 days in advance so that we could shift slowly and set the house simultaneously. It sounded good in theory. Did not happen. What happened was that we literally dumped our stuff in the extra room. Point to know : One has to stay in a house to know exactly where goes where.

The houses in the lane being the same type of construction, we thought that everything - the connections and plumping and electric lines, would be of the same pattern. But the previous owners were so bizarre that for the first two weeks, we and our new house owners were racking our brains trying to figure out how the basic amenities worked. Nothing made sense. It took a month for us to make peace with the house. Problems still exist but we are no longer frustrated with it. It was the same with our first house too.  But in the end we had fallen in love with it. Let us see.

My maternity leave is over and I joined office on Oct1. Baby is going to daycare. He seems to be pretty Ok there. The care givers are nice people and there are so many children there that he seems to be happy. However it is pretty difficult to leave him there and go. At first I used to be the one who left him. But when it felt too difficult my hubby decided to do it but that was difficult too. Now we do it together. Sometimes, I have people judging me for putting my child to day care. What is good for a baby?; God only knows. A working mother or a non-working mother? I was brought up by a stay at home mom and my husband was brought up by a working mother with others taking care of him in the mornings. I find no extra amazing qualities or emotional damage in either of us. Both of us are pretty ordinary and extraordinary in our own way. Both of us have similar family relations and are messed up and good enough  almost to the same level

Ideally I had intended to work only after two years. I have always declared that intent very vocally. Yet here I am; back in office. I have found that I end up doing stuff I vehemently oppose. God’s reminder not to be so cocksure of what I will do ????? Maybe.

People think that working moms go to work for their career. And that they are not willing to sacrifice their career for their babies. I don't think it is that simple. Before baby was born one of my friends told me that people will judge working moms but not to bother about such people because they don't not know what financial constraints the mother may have. True. However, now I also I feel that money or career need not be the only reasons moms go out to work. I can list at least 3 reasons which don't sound good or important enough but I suspect they drive me more than money or career. The problem is we have a set of acceptable reasons and most of us justify our actions citing them. And even if somebody cites those reasons truthfully, the reasons are again lumped into these two categories - money and career.

Self respect,  A Role model, Principles or simply happiness...  They don't sound real enough, do they? And what about that real reason which is too personal to be shared? Why simply judge?

As far as I am concerned, I intend to go with the flow keeping my eyes open. Watching every moment and if required, change course. And in the end just have faith that whatever happened was meant to happen. Whatever decision taken was the best decision.

 

 

1 comment:

  1. People always judge, now whether it is right or wrong who are we to judge that? All I know is only a mother knows whats best for her child and she always does her best. I wish you wonderful memories in your new home :)

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