Monday, February 24, 2014

Got it. and here is #1

Well,  I got my smartphone. Sony Xperia TM something. It cost loads of money (according to me atleast) and I am going to make it worthwhile. So yes, I have already made lists in evernote, recorded my son's antics , downloaded and heard music, used the timer for every silly and not so silly things AND  as promised have taken photographs to post in the blog - photos which show a part of me. (As if a personal blog is not enough eh? ;) )

Anyway....

here goes the first one.

My office space:




This is where I spend app. 8 hours a day. looking into this screen, referring to the paper in the left sometimes, writing notes in the diary over there....and sometime reading the poem I have stuck on the board slowly drinking latte in the company given cup.

I never thought I would be here even after 4 years. I didnot think I would last in an alien place for 4 months. But this shows how less you know yourself. With a bit of encouragement one really can go further than one thought oneself to be capable of. My mentor helped me to adjust to this life alone in Gurgaon. Then my hubby joined me; In the same office. If I were to say that I absolutely detested the idea of being in the same company , well it would be 100% true. However now, after vavoo's arrival, I am glad that we are in the same company. It makes our lives a bit more easier.

The (career family) balance in life seems to come automatically. Maybe it won't last long but still, I am thankful for whatever time we have had. Happy people make happy workers, right?

This is a major part of my life. And a part I enjoy quite a lot.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Weekend news/musings

- This house is proving costly (though I wouldn't change it for anything). In the previous house, when I was overwhelmed and needed a bit of fresh air or I needed to clear my head , I would got to the park nearby and take a few rounds, calm down and return in a better mental state.  Here the park is a bit far, the market is nearer. It would be weird to roam around the market without doing anything so I would invariably spend some money. Till now I have bought only necessities but who knows when I will graduate to something more!

-In one such excursion on Friday evening, I finally got my diary. Yup. The one I was no longer going to look for. This is some kind of recurring theme in my life. When I let go of something, I normally get it. But by that time, I no longer care!!!!. I sometimes have this feeling that God doesn't intend me to have any kind of overt attachment to anything in this world. Applicable even to people, you know!

-Saturday morning we went to Sarojini Market for shopping and bought a great many things. I AM soooooooo happy. We bought a butter dish, 6 bowls, a cutlery thing to hold the forks and spoons and other things, 2 bigger bowls, and two single flower vases. All around for 1000/-. I am pretty happy. Though, because we were having vavoo it was a bit difficult to shop so we didn't look at the pieces more carefully.

- Simmi - my help did not come on Sunday. I would not have shared her name here but it's a sweet name that I cannot resist. Isn't Simmi a nice name? She talks in such a mature way (she's 20). Her philosophies of life are so matter of fact and logical. She would put the so called educated women to shame. 

Her views on love marriage - She had eloped. She had eloped because she liked him and she knew him before and was afraid that her aunts and father (mother died when she was an infant) would marry her off to someone she did not like or know. On asked why she went against her relatives wishes, she says. "Am I going to live with aunts and my father my whole life??? Are they going to be with me????"

-I went to the shop one morning to buy cerelac for Vavoo and stayfree napkins for me. While the shopkeeper was packing he took a black bag to put the stay free in. I said, "No it's not required, put it in the cover itself as it is". He said "I will put it in the black cover and then put it in the transparent cover". I insisted he put it in as it is. His face changed but he did what I said. I guess there are ladies who insist on the black cover. I guess I used to be so too, because I never thought about it. Everyone did it so I did it. Now I know better.
Any boy /man know what's in this "special" cover. So why "hide" it??? Isn't it degrading? It's as if one is ashamed of having to use it and is parading that feeling all around. "Hey I am ashamed of using a napkin". If it's put inside the cover, just like that, it will be treated as if it's just another thing. No?  Or....... is it that they are hiding the brand of napkin they are using. Maybe the napkin companies are requesting shopkeepers to do so that their competitors will not know who is better?! Or maybe there is a special ray which gets activated once the thing is billed. Hence, in order to protect humans, it is put in black bags (because before that it is displayed in broad daylight).

- ok enough sarcasm for one post ;)

- If there is one change in me after having a baby I guess it is that I have more respect for my body. I had a C section. Though I did endure the pain, I did not have the experience of getting that superhuman strength which ladies get while delivering a child. My body refused to be forced into submission to the ultrasound date. I guess my body resented the labor inducing medicine. Carrying a child was fine for me. I had not got enough of it and it did not make me feel over the top or anything. But nourishing my baby did. When you know that your body has the capability to nourish a baby, fill his stomach - my my- the respect you have for your body automatically increases tenfold. Nature is so awesome. No one... NO ONE is going to make me feel ashamed of my body anymore.

- It has become a long post, has it not? I better stop then. Still, it feels like there so many more things to share :)

So, how was your weekend????









Wednesday, February 5, 2014

One more Reason for one to have a diary.

I had written a post in 2012 about the advantages of maintaining a dairy. Here is one more reason.

You can analyze yourself. 

Analyzing oneself is required for self improvement. Today, at this instant, I might write something out of passion, tomorrow I might read what I wrote today and understand and judge to what extent I am being reasonable. After all nobody knows one better than oneself.

 In our imagination we are all heroes and heroines - almost perfect with excuses for the imperfections. But once we write something down, it's there as a proof. If one is honest one can profit from it in a later stage.

Maybe there was a better way to think. Maybe I was being childish or judgmental or just angry. Maybe tomorrow when faced with a similar situation I will remember the advice I had given myself on a previous occasion.

Basic views don't change but maybe one can be a bit more tolerant. After all the world is not black or white. Maybe I will decide that it's better if the views leaned more towards the white portion.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Letters to my diary 04.02.2014

Dear Diary,

I have lost all hope of having you in my life this year. And I am not going to look for you too. Already a month has gone by. Still, it's nice to write letters too.

You know i was never interested in smartphones. I simply could never understand how one could spend that much money over a phone. Another thing is , if you spend that kind of money you gotta be careful about it even more. And that's unnecessary tension in my opinion. Atleast for me. I am ok when hubby spends that kind of money- He takes care of his things- but you know me.

However the other day I talked to Yasho and she told me that her smartphone is really helpful for her to be in contact with her close friends and asked whether I have it. Apparently there is an application "What'sup" or something like that. I decided then that i would like to have one too. But sometimes I wonder how different is it from facebook? Well i guess i will have to use it to know. Hubby had ordered one for me but they cancelled the order because the stock finished. So i will have to wait some more. I do think I am ready for a smart phone, finally. If i do get one I promise to post one photo blog post per day for 31 days of 31 random things which define me.I need to write.I need to do things which i like to do. I need to get my life back in track. Will  I ever :)?

It's interesting how clothes are defining people more and more and more.  Recently we were invited by someone for a party in a restaurant in Sec 29. In the end we didn't go because i was feeling sick. The next day we gotta know that apparently one has to get dressed up to go to such parties. Apparently all the girls were wearing knee length dresses and had makeup on. Nothing against it by the way  but i thanked myself that i didn't go. I would have gone with my sweatshirt jacket and jeans.I know for every place one has to dress accordingly and nothing wrong in that but sometimes i wonder.

for a party
Girls - make up, knee length clothes maybe with a bit of shimmer/heels
Guys- shirts (half sleeves), may be T, jeans

For a formal family gathering
Girls -  Salwar kameez, sarees,
Guys - formal shirts (half sleeves), may be T, jeans

For an adventourous outing
Girls - T shirts, and capries
Guys - T shirts and shorts

For normal shopping
Girls - anything
Guys- anything

For a marraige
Girls - Kanceepuram/silk/Zari/Fashion sarees with accessaries
Guys - Formal Shirts and Trousers/ Sherwani

For interviews (at least those i have seen)
Girls- Executive shirts, trousers
Guys - Formal Shirts and Trousers

And they complain about the wardrobe of girls. If for every single occasion social norms deem that girls need a different dress to take part in it, then obviously the wardrobe IS going to be huge.

WHY????

Who defines what kind of dresses I should or should not wear as long as they are respectable. I would like to go to parties but if someone puts conditions on it - then sorry, half my enthu goes.

Sometimes I am judged because I am the way I am. People presume. They think I don't wear certain clothes because I cannot wear/carry them. and sometimes I wonder , should I care about it? But diary you know what...If I want to prove them wrong, I will have to take  a lot of trouble for that. I sometimes wonder why girls go through so much trouble to shape their eyes and remove the hair from their hands and legs. Who determines whether it's good looking to do that? Who determines that my eyebrows don't look neat because I don't thread. Guys don't thread or wax. Does anybody have any problem with that????

I am too lazy diary.... I cannot do all those things regularly. I prefer being natural anyway. 

love
Rahmath

PS: Thanks for listening.