Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Excerpts from my Drafts Folder # 4, # 5 and # 6

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However whenever the aspect of cruelty comes I keep coming back to the same incident which happened around 6 months ago.  I was not in very good health for around a month or two last year. Rats had a gala time. My hubby was too stressed taking care of me and office and house he did not bother. So when I regained my health slightly the first problem I had to deal with it was an infestation of rats. The permanent and easy solution was to kill them. I know many vegetarians too would do the same. Did we do it? No. We literally spent three four days or maybe a week or two even,  24 hrs , recording planning and what not to catch them alive with rat traps( ya after the first one none of the rats entered the trap. we had to make elaborate plans) and then drove far off and let them free. But by the end of the week I had started wondering if I would have been this kind to the rodent if I had a baby in the house or if i didnot have this much time on my hands. 100% says , I would kill the rodent at sight. So why this difference in the same person when the situation changed. Priorities. No? Does this mean that the others who would kill the rat at sight are somehow lesser or more cruel than me. I don’t believe so.

Don't you think it is very simplistic to just attribute cruelty to eating animals?
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-We went to the Doc again after two weeks and she did not commit anything until the heart beat is heard. It must be so difficult being a doctor ,your patients hopes and  fears all resting on your shoulders....Hats off to them. So again we went for the U/S.I just prayed hard. I had seen the flicker last time. I just held on to that thought and prayed and prayed. Suddenly I heard this dukdukdukdukdukdukdukdukdukdukduk sound. It was running so fast that for a moment I wondered ...is something wrong???? The radiologist smiled happily.
"haha" he said.... "Nice strong heartbeat."
 "So everything is ok?" I asked.
"Yes Yes" he said.
I looked at hubby. He was beaming. His grin literally touched both of his ears. I don't know why but my eyes welled up. It was nice to hear the baby. Suddenly it was beginning to feel real. I am not romantic. I assure you I am not. The motherly euphoria has not surfaced till now, hopefully it will, soon enough. It would help.  In fact I have been whining and complaining all the time to my hubby the last couple of months (and I still do quite a lot) but for reasons I cant explain, I was wiping off my tears for quite some time.
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Sometimes I think it's good to not be able to do certain things. You start appreciating them more. For eg. when I was at home I never ate breakfast. I used to torture my mom for "good food"(Bah! what did I know then) and ate quite little and made a great fuss about food in general. Then after college I stayed in Chennai for a year while I was preparing for Gate Exams. I stayed in a hostel where the food was quite austere. I survived with just rasam and rice for most of the days. On some days my aunt used to send something to eat with this - fried fish or egg or something and it used to be a delicacy. I remember one particular incident which changed my perception about "good" food.- it is gross so if you want to skip the next para , please do.

In my hostel,there was this long bench in which every morning, the lunch items used to be kept .We used to fill our boxes in the morning. Once  , I saw another girl just in front of me take rice. I got a shock because there was a huge huge clump of hair in the rice. Our warden was sitting nearby. I thought this girl would freak out. (we had lots of rules about tying the hair when taking food so that a strand should not fall inside the food and now this happens)She stared at the warden removed that portion of the rice and then proceeded to fill her tiffin box. I was shocked. I would never have filled my tiffin, but the way she filled it made me feel that maybe, I was too finicky about food. After all, what about people who don't even get any food. There would be no lunch for me too if I didnot get this. I think the warden allowed us to take breakfast item as lunch that day.  But I learned to appreciate the food we get, better.
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1 comment:

  1. Change is the only constant, with time our perspectives keep evolving and this is reflected in the way we react to same situation at different age and different stages of life. Even I'm fussy with a capital F about food although of late, I'm a lot less finicky about it.

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