Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Letters to my Dairy 23.07.2014

Dear Diary,
I was just reading Dr. Suess Quotes in good reads and what fun they are to read. This guy must be the greatest philosopher of his time. I hope Aman will be interested in reading. I will buy him all of Dr. Suess Books...

Just read these quotes.... ok

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
And

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

And

“You are you that is truer than true”

I feel happy when I read them.

Yesterday Amnu's daycare was not there. So hubby took leave. BD the lady who is primarily responsible for Aman had gone to see her Father who was admitted in the hospital. She cam back today and I felt sad for her. Isn’t it difficult? She must so much want to be with her father but she had to come back because of her work. I shared it with hubby and he said we salaried people are in so much better place because at least we can take leave and go when we want. When you are having a business of your own it's not possible to do so. And yet we crib when we don’t get as much leaves as we want. I admire BD a lot you know. She is always cheerful. She has gone through a lot but instead of wailing and being a douche when troubles came she bucked up, pulled back her sleeves and did what she could do to fix it. And yet she is the most cheerful person I have met and no self-pity anywhere. I should be learning that from her. I have so many good examples around me and instead of looking at them I look at bad examples. Silly silly me.

Anyhow this thought led to another memory of a daughter in law who was not allowed to take care of her cancer ridden mother by her in laws. This lady belongs to a very very good family btw. She was reminded of her duties to her husband and children by her in laws. You know diary. I am a cynic about "Indian family values". We do have family values alright but nothing extra to harp about and this is the reason why.  I feel lots of our so called values are the luxury of the Indian man and his family. And mostly they are used against the women. Sorry but the stories I hear and my own experiences heard and felt are responsible for that.

I will give you an example ok. My mom had an operation so I went home to take care of her for 2 weeks. So in the end of the 2 weeks I was in my in-laws place when my grand aunt in law came visiting (She is a peach by the way and I am not sneaking on her. Just proving a point here). On course of our talking she said how great my parents in law are for allowing me to go to my home and take care of my mother so how thankful I should be for that.

Ok diary you know me very well and you know my first reaction. But then Better sense prevailed and I knew she was after all a product of her generation. And unfortunately Indian women are still regarded as the property of their in laws. So yes even the things which are their unquestionable right - well they have to receive it with tears of gratitude.

These things are experiences...experiences that an Indian man would never understand. At least a majority of them would not. Of course exceptions are always there.

 Recently I have begun to feel that marriage is a very important experience and yes it should be experienced, like Europe tour in the old classics. I used to wonder why all heroines go on tours, now I understand... Education. Marriage gives you so much new new things to learn and unlearn, it is very enriching. Marraige can break you or give you the courage to free yourself. And by the way only you have that power. Nobody else can free you. Similarly having a child is educational. Every, EVERY experience counts, if you want to make it count, that is.

Just things happening to you don’t count as experience unless you learn something productive out of it which will enrich your live in future.

An experience can make one more judgmental or less judgmental. I hope it's the latter for me.

Till the next time

Lots and lots of love
Rahmath

PS: This quote from Jane Eyre sums up my opinion about experience

“I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience"

PS; I wonder if that's where I formed my opinion on experience. Nah, it was from a Reader's Digest Quote from Quotable Quotes. Will try to find it.







2 comments:

  1. Very true Rahmath, every experience in life is very educative, we learn more about the world and ourselves at each step and never stop being surprised..Nice quotes :)

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  2. The Indian mentality towards marriage is there since ages. We, as women must change all such old notions. In my family we have no such beliefs. Dr. Suess' quotes are marvelous.

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