Saturday, December 24, 2016

Letters to my Diary ....or Blog????? 24.12.2016

Dear Blog


I started this as a dear diary post, the ones I post under letters to my diary. Then a conversation came to my mind, in which was remarking to JNT that i should start writing diary in the coming year as i feel much calmer when i write it. So he said you mean blog? I said " no, diary",
"blog diary?".
No actual book diary ...i assert.
The thing is my dear blog, I do write a lot in you. I think i am very very comfortable in expressing my emotions. I am not afraid. But still there are thing ...things you cant ...shouldn't put in the public domain, it may hurt others very personally. But the things need to be said no. Hence the diary.

This year has been a roller coaster of a year.I don't even remember how it started. I think in Jan Cousin in law hereby just called D landed. He stayed with us a some time before he found a place. In our mundane fast life even that was a huge difference. Then my sister came for the first time in last 5 years, and we went on a trip. A proper family trip. A signal that everything was finally normal in my life. I enjoyed the trip very very much indeed. We went to Missouri. I loved robbers cave. It was beautiful, felt very mystical going through it. I guess it was the highlight of the first quarter.

April stared with Amans school. technically he started in the end of march,,,,still....
Aman got settled very easily initially. even though we did wait fro two full days. just in case. Aman's growth this year was exponential. I think i have recorded it somewhere here itself. He started the school with small full sentences. In the last six months , he has GROWN. he argues, negotiates and philosphates. if thats a word. Initially I was a bit apprehensive as he never shared anything what happened in school . Even now he doesn't but some days, sometimes when his energy is more of a calm kind and I can somehow keep him by my side and talk  he shares amazingly....I am proud of him...

Initially I always thought that hubby would be the spoiling parent and I the one who set the rules. Initially it was so... but slowly the balance is shifting. I have the feeling that yes...i am the parent who will be the lenient one. I guess I will hand over  the fun but strict mantle to his father .

This is a topic i can keep writing about ..wont by the way. But i really really should start recording what aman says sometimes. But sometimes i wonder if in a few years time,if he will feel that i have abused his privacy. He is already a very private child. His father is an extremely private person too, unlike me who is very free with espressing the emotions, whatever it may be( I have my limits by the way but i have found out that my bar is a bit higher. Not nill though as some people assume)

Aman had leave on May. His grandparents came for some days to give company. But mostly he went to daycare. It becoming more and more difficult to send him to day care.

June was brother in law's marraige. Welcomed my sister in law home. We also shifted houses. Our new house was bigger independent house with lots of space in the front and back. Not many drawbacks.Only bearable ones

July they all came to gurgaon. We went to shimla. The original trip was to kashmir for HKs wedding. However because of the clash, no body could attend the wedding. The wedding took place somehow by the way and I am so happy for her. You know some people who deserve to be happy? Yes she is one of them.

Shimla trip was very good too.. I like to go to trips with my in laws. Rather than always go to TVM, I feel that once a trip should be there. Something weird happened in that trip though. Not weird at all if you think about it. I wish I could share .... again not here ....in another blog in another name....

August was fine ...But hubby got Chikangunya. And that is a baaaaaad disease. It is extremely painful. And i prayed to god that aman doesn't get it. Thankgod neither of us did . If i had also got chickengunya i dont know how we would have managed. Looking at our track record, we would have managed however, thank god...thank god.

Nothing happened in September or did it???? October MIL and FIL came to visit. Did I tell the second BIL joined here near our house for MBA. it didnot make a difference because the fellow was extremely busy upto november. But then it was nice when he came home in between.

November we wen to Bangalore. Father finalized the gift deed. Need to do so many things next year. I may have to make dead lines and submissions and all those things now. Again IGW, the day after tomorrow we are going to go to Kolkatta for a short trip. Will tell about it after it finishes.

I feel overwhelmed my dear blog,as if I have so much to say....This year has been eventful. I havenot told about the unsuccessful though successful blood donation trip i made. I started Yoga. Better I inspired hubby to do Yoga as well. I lost 4 kilos.I read some books. I read Mrs. Funny bones by Twinkle khanna today.  Hopefully i wont gain too much soon.Workwise i am still cofnused. Started my chartedship....

I have so much to say on that.

Will be back....
Love
Rahmath




The more people I am connected with, the more lonely I feel.strange

Friday, December 9, 2016

Him.

"250" said the man behind the counter.
Gayathri fumbled through her purse and shelled out the money. It was almost 6 months since she came to Gurgaon. Still she couldn't believe the prices here. "250 for a coffee and cake." "My God" she thought. But what to do, she wanted a bit of snack then.
She turned back fondly thinking about the prices in Trivandrum and she unknowingly bumped into the guy standing just behind her.

Oh. sorry sorry sorry ...she muttered and looked up. She saw a guy... His face flushing the moment she looked at him. His blushing confused her and she literally ran out of the door.

"What a guy yaar. You would think he has not met any girls before. Unknowingly if you bumped into him whats there to be this embarrassed." Her colleagues remarked disdainfully. Somehow that remark disturbed her.

While walking back to the office for some reason she remembered her Appa. Her Appa had passed away three years ago. She remembered that day vividly. Somehow she knew that it was the end. Somehow she knew already. She was standing outside his hospital room staring straight ahead in her own world trying to come in terms with a possible world without him. She did not know what to do. Suddenly she felt somebody's eyes on her and saw a boy looking at her. It irritated her. Even at this time ...even at this time.... This is a hospital for god's sake. She thought. She remembered an incident where her Appa had almost taken his stick to chase a classmate who had been loitering outside their house and she smiled and then her eyes welled up.

She went in and sat near her father's bed. He was sleeping. Calmly... At least he is calm, she thought. At least there seems to be not much pain and there was yesterday. She took his hand and pressed it against her cheek."Appa... Appa ... she thought who will chase guys away now...How can I live without you? How can Amma live without you? How will I give her courage when my own is failing? Appa who will make me laugh like you do ? Appa ...Appa...."

"Its him"

"huh... what Appa???" Gayathri opened her eyes. Her father was looking at her fondly and smiled. Slowly his hand went over her head as if to bless her. Then he took a deep breath and went back to sleep. Her mother came and sat besides him then and Gayathri sat on the sofa looking at them both.

She wondered at the strength of her mother. Her mother was taking care of her father as if he was unwell and he will be ok soon. It was as if she wanted every minute with him in this world to count. She did not cry. she did not burden Appa with her sorrow. She just loved him. Almost like a child.

Her parents were not very demonstrative but in the last few months she thought she knew what love was. She wondered if she would ever find someone who loved her like her Appa loved her Amma...

Three years ago. How much things changed. She left Trivandrum. She came to Gurgaon. Got a job as a secretary.  She was glad. Her mom did not come with her. Maybe in a year or two she had said. Anyhow it was a different life altogether. And in a way she was glad of the distraction. It was very painful back home.

That evening while she was coming out of her office building she saw him again. "Oh he is in my office??? she thought. Her office was so big , she did not know half the people there. Anyhow it was only 6 months since she joined."

"Looks like a South Indian.  she thought and it piqued her interest.
ha... he is malayalee....
Hmmm wonder where is he from....
What a nice laugh he has...."

Suddenly he turned and looked directly at her. Now it was her turn to blush .She then walked straight to the cab. But in the rear mirror she saw he was smiling looking quite pleased about something.

********** 8 years later*******

"My God, why cant he give this shirt away???!!! Its faded and it has been washed so many times.
But no...her husband wouldn't hear of it. He valued that faded red shirt A LOT.

She folded it and kept it along with his other T shirts and looked at the boxes of items still to be unpacked form their latest move. He mother was also there. Both grandmother and grand daughter were looking at old photographs. How she would have loved if her father was there too. It had always pained her that she couldn't have his blessings. Her marriage somehow felt incomplete.

She looked at the photo of her father hanging on the wall. Her daughter Appu, was a splitting image of her grandfather. except for her laugh. That she got from her own father.

"Ammaama look at this small girl laughing. How cute she is looking na. Just like me."

Appu laughed happily. Gayathri's mother looked at the old photo in Appu's hands.

"Oh it is your mother only, Appaapa was making her laugh. Appaapa could make your Amma laugh every single time. even when she was very very sad when her dahlia plants died. No body could ever make her laugh like that"

"No no Ammamma. I have seen Amma laugh the same way in one more photo." Appu claimed and started rummaging the stacks of old photo graphs again. This time she bought up an old photo from her husband's stack of pictures, clicked durign one of the office functions ". It was a snap shot at Gaythri laughing. The person who was making her laugh was faced towards her and his face was not visible in the photo.

Gayathri wondered at who this person was who had made her laugh the same way as Appu claimed. and looked at the photo again. And instantly she recognized the red shirt he was wearing. She had just folded it and kept it inside the cupboard.

Suddenly she remembered her husband mentioning that he had seen her the first time in the hospital.
With a shock she looked at her father and his last words suddenly made sense to her"

"It's him"

Her hands unknowingly went to her head where her father had blessed her.

Her father had already blessed her , even before she had met Ajay.

Its him... Its Ajay.













Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Random Thoughts

- Today I read a blog post in which the author had told about her break (?) from work. She took a break after 21 years. And I wondered. Will it take me 21 years to take a break. Should I wait for 21 years. This means more 13 years. Aman will be 16. I would rather be working then. I think I will put a target of 12 years. 4 more years to go. Aman will be 7.

-Joined Gurgaon Walkers for the first time. Difficulty level was 6. Was slightly apprehensive but then wanted to go ...so went. Apprehension changed to disbelief. It was not walking but almost trekking. But I had already started the journey. Did not feel like going back. And I feel extremely happy that I did not. In a way its good that I didn't know it was trekking. I would have not gone because I would have been afraid. But now.... I have already done it.

-Have successfully refrained from buying anything for me during the sale season. I am trying to go the minimalist way.Lets see how that goes. I wouldn't need more dresses if only I lost around 5 kilos alround.
 

Monday, July 4, 2016

Decluttering thoughts

- Today read Mayil will not be quite once again. I liked it better this time. more than the last. I somehow am reminded of Zulaikha every time I read it. Though Zulaikha is not that talkative.

-We have unpacked half the books to our new almirah. And instantly I feel comfortable. As if My house has at least become a home. To be able to choose a book and read while eating. Yes, comfort indeed.

- I guess I did not tell you, we shifted home three weeks ago. One week after we shifted we had to leave for BIL's wedding. After coming back, we bought an almirah and chest of drawers from Olx and it is perfect. I love the chest of drawers. It’s exactly as I wanted it to be. I love the almirah also However its extremely heavy (requires around 10 people to move it) so I am not sure if we will take it and go. But it’s a wonderful one. I definitely will be heartbroken to leave it here.

-Removed the thing lodged inside my sole for one year. Pained for a week. Today I walked around using the whole feet. Having only one good leg sucks. I still could walk though. I was thankful that I had legs.

-But still my feet pain. I don’t need back messages or body massages, but yes, I wish I could get the machine which could give me feet messages every day. I think that’s my weak point now. No it has nothing to do with weight. They had started paining even when I weighed 10 kilos less.

-I like this new house. It’s nice. Life is excessively busy and hectic. I am tired. I want to do something new

- Thinking of starting namaz. I may . Mostly I may not.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Summer rain

When the heat becomes unbearable I wait for a summer rain.
When my plants start wilting for the want of their mother's love, I wait for a summer rain.
When the dust is more, when the thirst doesn't wane.
When days brighten too soon....
I wait for a summer rain.

And today it came.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Letters to my Diary 21.05.2016

Dear Diary,

I spent sometime going through my posts. I do that sometimes now a days. I am getting a lot of page views suddenly. I am not sure why. Is someone out there reading my posts? Or is it some software glitch. Anyhow it is still encouraging, and it makes me want to write even more.

Last sunday we celebrated Aman's birthday. Really celebrated. We had not done so before. We did not buy many gifts but Aman got a lot of them. So in a way it worked out well. But the thing i was happy about was that, we celebrated on Monday as well. In his daycare; with his friends. And he was happy. I know he was happy.

I blew a lot of balloons for him on his birthday and filled his small play area with balloons of all colours. He was very happy and I was happy with him.

He is such a sweet child ; Aman is.

This week for the first two days , he cried while going to B didi's house. The third day he didnot cry. I was surprised . Then didi told me that Aman has kept his promise. Apparently he had promised her that he wouldn't cry anymore. And I was proud that my son kept his promises. Ofcourse we also almost never break our promises to him . Neither does B didi.

Tomorrow we have to go to walking at 5:30am. I find it a bit unreasonable . However I do want to get into the habit of walking once again. Deepu has come for babysitting Aman. Its so hot so I am grateful that he has come despite the fact that we don't have an extra ac. I would like to go for the walk with hubby. Its a long time since we did such things together.Its also time to buy an ac.

Read "The murder of Roger Arcoyd". I think I have been reading a bit too much of agatha christie because i got an idea, then it went , then again it came again. It was interesting. I should say more else it may spoil the book for you. However, the words which made the book precious was not those written by Ms christie. K had written some words before he gifted the book to me and hubby. Somehow it just made my time in my previous company worth it. If I can meet one such person in every office I work, then whatever happens I think I will be a happy soul in the end.

I will stop now. I am tired. Will talk tomorrow.

Love
Rahmath


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Life Lessons - The one with the donkey, man and son.

Today I am reminded of the story of the donkey, the man and the son. Do you know that story?
In case you don't, then this is how it goes.

One day  a man and his son were going to the market with their donkey. On their way they passed someone villagers and they said "How silly these two people are . At least one of them could sit on the donkey and reach the market without getting tired.

Hearing this the man told his son to sit on the donkey.

After sometime they passed some other villagers and they heard one of them remark.

"What kind of a son is this to make his father walk while he sits on the donkey very happily"

Hearing this the son felt very bad and got down and told his father to get on to the donkey.
After sometime they passed another set of villagers. By this time it was noon and the boy was quite red under the sun.

"Surely that man on the donkey is not the boy's father. Would a father not see his son's discomfort?

Now the boy and his father were perplexed. So ultimately they decided that both of them would sit on the donkey for the final stretch to the market.

They had almost reached there when the fourth group of villagers met them.

"Look at these two. Don't they have any kind of consideration for the donkey."

--------------

So. why did I remember this story now out of the blue????

To remind me of the life lessons hidden in the stories from my childhood.

You cannot please everybody. The displeasure may be targeted to hit many parts of our self, intelligence, respect, love and even empathy- something we all want to have. However it is always preferable to be comfortable in what you are doing. The mistake of this father and son was that they gave the power of judgement to other people. People who don't even matter.

I dont remember if this story is form the Panchatantra or Aesop's fables. But wherever they are from, I am glad I read them when I was a child. And I should remember to read them even more now.


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Weekend talks 14/05/2016

Today I went to abhishek bachchan's page. Somebody was liking his pictures a bit too much and as I really had nothing to do, I went ..... and I enjoyed looking through the pictures . Not because he was a star or I am a fan or anything. just it felt very nice to see mundane pictures which are so important to him. They were  very normal pictures you know and I really liked it . It was as if you were seeing the pictures of a good friend....someone you know ...

And I wondered

Maybe I should imagine I am a star and start putting up pictures for my imagined fan base somewhere out there. Because it felt like a very fun thing to do.

Atha called right now. I had asked him to try to arrange food for an orphanage on Aman's birthday. It was done for his first birthday. I think for his second birthday too. I have always wanted to do that atleast once a year.  Now that father is there, my wish becomes reality.

Tomorrow is Aman's birthday. I want to do somethings nice. I have prepared nothing. Just slight ideas. But I hope we will celebrate it well. I want it to be a special day for Aman. especially now that he has began to understand and want things.

Tomorrow is the day I became a mother three years ago. I want to be a good mother to Aman. A kind mother. But not someone with whom his wife will have to compete. I don't want to be a mother who is so entwined with my child that when the time comes, I have problems with the natural course of life. I want to be the mother who always puts his needs before mine. And I want to be a good wife too.

Why am I  telling all this to you? I wonder. I just miss the person I was before May 2013. The kind soul who always put others wishes before hers, who forgave people if they hurt her, and who could still be good towards people who believed bad of her. I dont know where she went. I simply cannot find her anymore. I have tried and tried and tried but sometimes I despire if I have lost her for good.
I miss her so much.

Hubby is making Dosa for me. I intend to eat them with podi. I like that combination.Sleeping Aman seems to be getting disturbed by my typing. Time to tune off...

Thanks for listening..
lots and lots of love Rahmath


Friday, May 13, 2016

Letters to my diary 13/05/2016

Dear diary,

Office is stressful. But the positive side is, I am enjoying the work. It is quite challenging. It is interesting. I have had the good fortune of doing variations of the same thing which helps me do some comparison studies and help me understand the behavior of the structure. I am doing a 3D portal frame with different support conditions. Yes, it certainly is interesting.

I have come to a theory . I have always believed that it takes at least 6 months to settle into a new place. I have developed a new theory now of two years. First six months you see all that you agree with the place. Then the next six months you start finding differences and all that you don't agree. Then six months will pass in your making an attempt to make peace with it. If you cant make peace, then the last six months will determine if you will search for a new place.

My first two six months have passed. Now the third six months will make me try to make peace with the situation. I think I will be able to. As long as I get similar interesting work.

I have also made peace with the fact that I am a fighter. I am not going to win awards for good behavior. But I will certainly have the reputation of being dependable. And I think I am quite happy with that. There are too many good people in the industry anyway.

Am I talking like Elsa????

Hubby has come from office.
Will talk later
lots of love
Rahmath


Sunday, May 1, 2016

Letters to my Diary 01/05/2016

Dear dairy,

I talked to atha today about my work , stress ,money. He told me not to bother about the increment, not to take unnecessary stress , not to think too much else it will harm us only. Important things like aman and hubby ,,, and myself  that's the thing to concentrate. Just keep doing the work properly as i always did and wait for next year. I am bit frustrated about how things are anyhow mostly its fine so i guess i should not bother much about it.

Aman has started school and he is doing good. He had a phase suddenly in which  he hated school. We had a feeling that he was being pushed around by someone and one day he told hubby that he was. We told his didi's in school about it. They were handling it unfortunately the boys who were bullying Aman were his friends so they were dealing with it a bit carefully because somehow aman ends up going to them himself. But our talk did good. He was a bit aloof; now he is integrating with his group more.

Aman is growing up at a pace which is breathtaking. And with him we are growing too.  Our growth as parents, as people has become exponential these past few weeks. we can choose out friends but we cant choose aman's . we are forced to go beyond our comfort zones for him and yes, it is a good expereince. Aman is growing and we are growing with him.

Every week aman's favourite songs change. It used to be ABC last november, then wheels on the bus go round and round. Today it was different.Some how I am not able to remember the song now!!!!

Hubby and I bought a coulouring book fro mindfulness. Hubby bought it for him actually. It has some 50 designs for adults actually. Like a stressbuster. And i am using it more than hubby. I would have chosen nature ,, hubby chose vintaage designs. Anyhow there are some vines and flowers in it too. I like green colour now more. Figures actually. It's a colour which is a bit lacking in Gurgaon. Atleast the part i frequent. Thank god for my rangoon keeper.

In the last 1 week we sent aman's school out family pic, my old dupatta , and hubby old t shirt and swimming shorts for Aman. Sometimes I wish I could see what Aman is doing at school. It must be so much fun. I ask aman everyday what he did at school. The answer is same "I played". And then I ask what did he play and he says "With toys". thats it. nothing more nothing less. At this point of my life i envy the parents with children who talk a lot. Aman talks but he compartmentalizes. Knowing his father its no surprise. I  remember in college hubby used to be someone who once at college never talked about home and when at home dissappeared from college circle. It changed of course with due time.

Days are getting very hectic. Aman's school will close in May for 2 months. It will be difficult for him to go to this day care for full day now i think. Lets see. I wish I was working part time.

One day I wanted to spend sometime with Aman, I took leave. I dropped him in school. Talked to some parents while i was waiting for him to settle down without having to worry about goign to office. The reached home, did some work then left again for his school . Brought him back. Ate food together. took a nap and when hubby came home i could do his chores and not be tired which meant hubby got some time off as well. it was nice.

Chalo, I have to go right now. No time for doing spell check...

Lots of love
Rahmath



Saturday, February 20, 2016

Weekly Progress Update: 17/02/2016 - 23/02/2016

17/02/2016

Did not log. though fitbit did say that my activity level was around an hour.

18/02/2016
Did not log. Got up in the middle of the night and then discovered that I couldn't sleep at all. So I decided that I deserved a break.So I did not go for my morning walk. I know that 1 day is supposed ot be a rest day but I don't think I am doing that kind of a work out . Also I am afraid if I break the inertia then its going to be doubly hard for me to get back. I had begin to think of my weight loss also. It is against my initial stand of concentrating in one thing at a time.So back to one thing at a time.

19/02/2016

Got up at 6:00. went for the half an hour walk. Climbed 7 stairs. Did not do the evening 15 minutes. Slept off

20/02/2016

Didnot log. But I walked I think. Not the evening one though

21/02/2016

Got up at 8:00.Made tea and then went for the walk. I felt it very difficult to complete my half an hour walk today. Ultimately I stopped walking in the park and deviated to the market. Not brisk walking but still walking. Today in the afternoon I finally broke my resolve of not taking my weight until the end of the training. I guess i wanted to know whether this had any effect. The weighing balance showed 73 which is 1.5 kilo lesser than last time I saw the weight. I really really hope that I have actually lost my weight and that this is not some error. Anyhow decided that I wont weigh myself in between fortnights. Its quite difficult to measure any change really otherwise.

22/02/2016

Did not log

23/02/2016
Didnot log


Saturday, February 13, 2016

Weekly Progress Update: 10/02/2016 - 16/03/2016

10/02/2016   - Wake up at 6:00, go for a half and hour walk everyday morning for the next 7 days. (Sat and Sun - wake up at 8:00). Combine with 15 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much work out is done. reach a goal of 5 min jogging without huffing by the end of the week.


10/02/2016

Didnot log

11/02/2016

Didnot log

12/02/2016

Didnot log

13/02/2016

Didnot wake up in the morning. Decided last week that I wouldn't. Have been walking everyday dutifully for 30 minutes. Climbing 5 stairs also. This week I wondered if I had overdid it. I also played table tennis. As the table was in the 18th floor and I sit in the 19th floor I did a lot of up and down. So Saturday I thought I will just go a bit easy on myself. Hubby had to go to office today so I got time to use the treadmill only at 7:15. Walked 45 minutes seeing friends. Covered 3 km. But the situation is different for me in the mornings. I am not a morning person. My motivation was going a bit but yesterday when I talked to father, he asked what happened to the marathon. I said its in march and I am training for it. He seemed to be excited that I was doing it. So yes that kinda remotivated me a bit.

14/02/2016

Didnot log. However did get up at a better time and go to the park for walking. Walked for 30 minutes. Walked in the evening for 15 minutes in which I jogged for 5 min. straight. Discovered that maybe maintaining a constant velocity was the key for jogging.

15/02/2016

Got up at 6:00. Wanted to go earlier to the park because nowadays more people are coming in the morning as the winter is bidding goodbye. Still , could go only 5 min earlier. Anyhow that's cool. Ran around 150m which I think is a great improvement. Tried to control my pace and speed and it decidedly had an effect. I hope its consistent. Had to go to the self realization session in Aman's future school. So couldn't do the stairs thing( Need to go to office in the lunch time for that.) Came back. Jogged for 5 min. at a faster pace in the evening, but not controlled. Hope I will be able to be a conscious jogger.

16/02/2016

Did not log
 

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Weekly Progress Update: 3/02/2016 - 9/03/2016

3/02/2016

Time : 5:55 - Alarm rang. Snoozed it for 10 min.
Time 6:05-  Got up. Thought for a moment or two whether to sleep back or not. Thought of the published goal. Then put on my chappals and got out of the bedroom door. 1 for me 0 for devil.


Time 6:05. - Peeped outside. DARK. Oh so the sun is not up???!!!!!! weird. OK. so maybe I will make tea (normally hubby's job). Contemplated whether to change my timings to 6:15 or 6:30. Then decided against it. Thought once again of the bed. Then went and made tea. 2 for me 0 for devil.

Time 6:40 - It is still dark. Thought I will record my endeavors though. Sipping tea.Will I be able to go at all???!!!! cause at 7:15, I need to start breakfast.

P.S. Went for the walk afterall. Was pretty cold. Was a tough day today. Hopefully I will get up tomorrow.

4/02/2016

Got up a bit late today. Went without much issue. Dressed warmly this time. Went to the vegetable shop after that to by cucumbers for sandwich. Saw so many school buses on the way back

5/02/2016

Almost , Almost did not go today. Got up later than yesterday. at 6:30. Went anyway. Noticed whiel walking that every one else was overtaking me. The only ones who I overtook were clearly senior citizens.

6/02/2016

DIDNOT get up . couldnot. Got up at 11:00 and I could have slept more. However did do the treadmill for 30 minutes. Maybe I should go a bit easy on myslef for saturday and sunday, else most probably I will crash and burn.

7/02/2016

Woke up late. But I had already decided that. Did walk for 30 minutes in the treadmill though. Discovered that in Saturday Sundays, if one is not going out, one needs to have another 30 mintues treadmill time to reach the goal of 7000 steps. Wondering if I will be able to wake up tomorrow at all.

8/02/2016
------------------- Did not log.

9/02/2016

Successfully completed one week of training. Yesterday I had thought that it would be almost impossible for me to even do 10 min. My legs were aching so. So I ran a bit and found it helped but I couldn't do even 100m. Was full of self doubts. But somehow I did it. Today I woke a little late but still could go out at the prescribed time. Tried jogging a bit slower. Still barely made 100m. Wondering if being hydrated will help. Incorporated a subgoal of 5 stair flights per day this week. Still having doubts. But I am giving it my all. Whatever happens, we will see then.





Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Goal 2016 - Marathon 5 km.

I think my life would have been quite different in Gurgaon if I had a friend here. I dont lack enthusiasm just company to do something about it. Never liked doing anything alone.However, I want to get out of that inertia.

I want the focus for the year 2016 to be "me". Initially I had thought about having some 36 goals for this year. However Febuary has passed and before I know it most probably so will December. So I thought I will concentrate on one goal at a time. Most probably that goal in particular may require other goals but thats just a bonus. Hopefully I will cover 5 goals at least this year.

My first goal for the year 2016:

Run the 5km Marathon on March 16th

Risk Register:

1)  Lack of fitness required
2) Reaching the venue.
3) Doing the marathon alone.
4) Actually completing it.

Comments:

While 2,3 and 4 are demons to be conquered later on I will skip them for now, hoping they will get sorted out somehow. For now I focus on,

1) Lack of fitness required.

Breakdown of Goal :

3/02/2016       - Wake up at 6:00, go for a half an hour walk outside everyday morning for the next 7 days.( Sat and Sun - wake up at 8:00)

10/02/2016   - Wake up at 6:00, go for a half and hour walk everyday morning for the next 7 days. (Sat and Sun - wake up at 8:00). Combine with 15 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much work out is done. reach a goal of 5 min jogging without huffing by the end of the week.

17/02/2016 - Wake up at 6:00, go for half and hour walk everyday morning for the next 7 days.( Sat and Sun - wake up at 8:00). Combine with 15 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much work out is done. Reach a goal of 7 min slow jogging without huffing by the end of the week.

24/02/2016 - Wake up at 6:00, go for 45 mins walk everyday morning for the next 7 days.( Sat and Sun - wake up at 7:30). Combine with 20 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much work out is done. Reach a goal of 8 min slow jogging without huffing by the end of the week.

03/03/2016 - Wake up at 6:00, go for 45 minutes walk everyday morning for the next 7 days.(Sat and Sunday - wake up at 7:30). Combine with 20 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much work out is done. Reach a goal of 9 min slow jogging without huffing by the end of the week.

10/03/2016- Wake up at 6:00, go for 45 min walk everyday morning for the next 7 days.( Sat and Sun - wake up at 7:30) Combine with 20 min jogging/walking in treadmill anytime possible. Measure in fitbit how much workout is done. Reach a goal of 10 min slow jogging without huffing by the end of the week.



16th March 2016  _ D day.

Intend...
Prepare...
Whatever happens will happen.


Mitigation of risks:

1) Preparing logs for weekly progress.
2) By self motivating for the joy of pursuing a goal.
3) Hopefully motivation by others as well.

Reward:

1) Having a story to tell.
2) Having successfully prepared for something after 5 long years.
3) Hopefully lost some weight.
4) I will reward myself with a pair of Tanishq earrings. 
















 

Sunday, January 17, 2016

5 Random thoughts

1) This weekend we decided to go out. We had wasted the last two weekends. We thought at first we will go to the book fair. But then decided to go to Sarojini Market. Wanted to buy some ceramic bowls. Did not get it though.  And the rush was just too much. we left for Delhi haat. There we had a good time. AND, I bought my nest of dolls. It has been one of my child hood dreams to own one of them . Aman loved it so much he held on to it the whole time until we reached home. He played with it so much. I was so so happy.

2) I started this post last week. Wrote one point and then well did not write the rest. By the way the nest of dolls we bought well , 2 of them broke. I was extremely sad and then got over it.

3)Office is being a bit stressful. It should technically not be this stress full , but still... Hmmmm maybe it will be ok soon. Work is still rewarding.

4) yesterday we went to the Delhi book fair. Parking was an issue and we became tired even before the trip started. However we still had a good time and got some pretty good books. We bought  around 12 amar chitra kathas , 4 Enidblytons, around 4 Thomas the engine books then some 2 -3 flap and pop up books, then one Jack reacher  that hubby bought and one Bill Bryson that I bought. There were so many books and i did not know what to buy. I really did not want to buy anything serious. The review behind the book seemed promising, and I bought the bill bryson.  Any suggestions??? Maybe I will enroll in a online library thing also, though this time I should be more careful with my deposit money. Lost about 4500 last time I ventured into this.

5) I am thinking of starting another session of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Or should I restrict it to 1 year ???? Life without target seems boring. This year starts with promises of a traveling year. we have planned for a Musoorie trip and a Srinagar trip. So yes, I think I will have somethings to blog about this year.....

Saturday, January 9, 2016

5 Random thoughts

1) I simply must start blogging again. I desperately need something to make me happy. Something that I do for me.
2) On similiar lines , I should start exercising , stop having sugar ,butter and ghee.
3) And yes, call my friends ,share some photographs and get a social life.
4) Work is good though , I am enjoying what I do and learning so much more.
5) Going to have roti with potatoe -capsicum subzi . Want some?