Monday, January 23, 2017

Excuse & Accept

"If it is important to you you will find a way.
If not you will find an excuse"

True is it not?

The best thing to overcoming a weakness is to be aware of it. And the best part is being aware ;Peace of mind.

I stayed in my first company for 5 years. We were four friends in the same level. By the third year three of us had started becoming frustrated. We were hearing stories of other colleagues jumping companies every year with a good hike. Our own salary and work experience seemed very less in comparison.

And you know, when you start feeling dissatisfied , it corrupts every happiness that comes you way. Fortunately I had a epiphany one day. I felt that if I was that unsatisfied, I should change things. And if I am not changing things, it simply means I AM infact quite happy and satisfied with the situation and I am complaining in vain. For me not changing was something which was comfortable and it was more important for me that getting more money. And when I realized that, my dissatisfaction vanished. And that was a lesson for me.

So nowadays, when I am really dissatisfied, I just decide to change. And if I don't take a concrete effort in that step, I understand that I don't need it right now. And this has helped me be more pro active even if it sounds contradictory.

Ofcourse there may be times when you just plain damn lazy. even in that case, once you accept that you are actually LAZY, you can actually try to change things. Atleast you can have a game plan. If you are aware it helps.

For example I am trying to lose weight. And from the moment I made the resolution for some reason or the other I have been procrastinating doing anything about it. I keep talking about it (which is positive by the way). But I don't do anything about it. It was eating me from the inside and I had started putting me down for not having the will power to stick to the decision. Finally one day I decided that I am going to accept that I am not willing to do anything about it and I am just going to note the excuse I have everyday for not taking care of my health.

And this helped.

How?

There is no extra pressure. You have accepted that you are simply finding excuse. And that's fine.
Alt east you are not pulling myself down. And then maybe someday you can start looking a bit above and then start climbing up???

Maybe when your body and mind become friends they just start working together. Like the mind says , come lets wake up a bit earlier... the body says" ya sure" instead of "no way dude"

Maybe when the body says "lets be vegetarian today" the mind says "Ok I will help you" instead of "I WANT CHICKEN"

Whether this approach works on not, we will see by Dec 2017, i.e if you remember to remind me...



Saturday, January 21, 2017

On comfort zones

"You must do the things you think you cannot do" - Eleanor Roosevelt.

For the last six months or so my interest has been shifted from fictional books to self help books. The only motivational book I have been interested in for the last 15 years was
"How to win friends and influence people." However the trend has changed. I still cannot read books like Shiv khera , I cannot read books which say how to be a winner or so. However small books on happiness and being satisfied and changing the negative thoughts in mind fit my bill.

Around two months back on my trip to the Om book house ( which is not an exclusive trip but a part of my boy's fun time in the mall) i was wondering if I will ever find any book.Then, my eyes fell on "follow your heart". It was a medium sized book with small illustrations at every page along with nuggets of wisdom expertly hidden in small anecdotes written by a Andrew Mathews.

As this post is not a book review post, I wont go into it but if you trust me, go ahead, buy it.... its a good read. I highly recommend it.

One of the things in the book which caught my imagination was "only by going out of your comfort zone shall you grow". I found this particular piece of wisdom very catching.

My present office is a fine one. This year I have been given additional responsibilities as well. However this will require me to change how I act upon some of my actual beliefs. And some times I feel some kind of a suffocation. I think it must be because it is bigger than what I am used to or I find it difficult to do things which I normally don't do. I love teaching and I teach at every instant however do I make presentations and give training to all the offices all over the world? I don't.

I feel that success in any field nowadays is about visibility. It doesn't matter that you work well and hard. You have to sell it as well. You have to sell yourself as well. And sometimes I wonder if we use up a percentage of our energy or effort in selling whereas this effort should be used in the actual work. Hence I automatically think of it as a wastage. And when you think in that way it does not help and I have to make a conscious effort to change that thinking.

Putting yourself in the limelight is extremely important. In one way you are doing it for your company and that's great because you are your company's brand ambassador. So it makes perfect sense to go and do it. But your whole life you are grilled that you shouldn't blow your own trumpet, never say what good you have done , to blend in completely, and all these training makes it so difficult to put yourself out there. Interestingly I have no problem being in the limelight as far as I don't know I am there. But if it is a conscious thing then I feel inhibited.

And I wonder if this going past my comfort zone will help me grow,

I am pretty sure it will....
However sometimes I wonder....
Do I want to grow in this way at all?
Is  any growth always good?
My logic says it should be.
My heart says anything that happens will be a lesson learnt which is good.

Keeping my fingers crossed but must say  even thinking of getting out of my comfort zone is mighty uncomfortable.




Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Book Review - Mrs Funny Bones

Mrs FunnybonesMrs Funnybones by Twinkle Khanna
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I had read a column of Twinkle Khanna in a newspaper sometime ago and I was thought she wrote really well. Well I underestimated her,

I have never laughed so hard. In the recent years there are lot of Indian authors who have come out with their versions of being a married Indian woman. So really what was new? or so I thought, but the extreme comical twist given to every single incident made every chapter hilarious. It didnot matter that she was Twinkle Khanna or Akshay kumar's wife or Dimple Kapadia's daughter. She could be just you or me. The celebrity aspect was just like a bit of pepper sprinkled on top of a delicious sweet corn chicken soup.

There were times when I did feel that whether you are clever or intelligent or rich or a celebrity , in some things there seems to be no difference at all. She still is the sole parent who changes diapers, her son complains to a husband who promptly admolishes her (I would have kicked my hubby in a similar situation, which I am pretty sure she would have too if he was there in person), goes for household shopping and works while the husband lounges.(ok maybe here I am a bit prejudiced).

But ofcourse the whole deal cannot be written in a single book. And if we wanted the husband's point of view, then maybe he should write a book huh ;)
Hopefully there will soon be a Mrs Funnybones 2.

View all my reviews

Sunday, January 1, 2017

In this Year ....Just for this year.... I resolve

1) To follow the principles  I learned from my teacher from the Sivananda Yoga Center to better my health and to come to a healthy weight of 62 kilos from my present 68 which post the WLP I am pretty confident I can. Reduce one kilo every month for the first 6 months. Maintain the weight loss the second half of the year.

2) To start blogging once again by getting motivated from Indiblogger. Also resolve to have only one dear diary posts for every 10 other posts.

3) To connect to people and be ok if they don't initiate or appreciate the connection.

4) To hear insults,abuse and in-sensibilities yet not receive it.

5) To give love and respect to people who have given so much in the past and continue to do so even now.

6) To not say anything negative about anyone or anything to anyone apart from hubby despite the fact that people may assume things which may be unpalatable to me. But for this year I resolve.

7) To love or not expect to be loved in return.