Thursday, February 23, 2017

Decluttering thoughts

Today Aman did not have school. So I took leave from office to give him company. We try as far as possible not to send him to daycare when he has these onsies. He has a holiday tomorrow also. However hubby also has a holiday so its ok. I allowed him to see a lot of videos today. I suspect his father will also allow him tomorrow. However this week end we should plan such that he is not addicted to the ipad. I realized even though he counts, he does not know the numbers when he sees them. I wonder if that's ok for an almost four year old. I wonder if I should start taking the effort to teach him contrary to my original plan of not bothering him about all these things until he finishes kg. you know, just do his work in school (if any). Lets see.

Hubby comes late from office nowadays and so do I . Its difficult when there is no continuity . Your routine breaks. My child hood was very organized. My father would always come at 6:15. we always had food by 9 or 9:30. We always slept by 10:00. There  is a comfort in that kind of discipline. I don't think Aman has that. And I envy parents who can establish that kind of a system. Somehow I doubt if we can.

I wanted to mend my relationships with someone this year. But somehow I am not able to. There is too much bitterness and too much of lack of trust. People wonder at my strictness. But they don't see that its extreme fear that makes me strict. I am so afraid of giving levy and then regretting it. I know that person is hurt sometimes and I try. And then that person says something inappropriate and ....... well, downhill my effort goes.

Office is going ok I guess. But its not a place where my qualities can be put in use. Lets see how things work out this year.

My garden is doing good by gods grace. Some seedlings have come. I need to put some paalak seeds as well. I am extremely reluctant to harvest my moolis . I have no idea why. Hopefully my capsicum and chillie seedlings will grow strong and well. Need to buy some more pots. Maybe this week end.

Just got  a call from a hr recruitment company asking if I am looking for a job change. Suddenly there is an influx of these calls. I guess this is the time when people recruit. Feb and March. Just before the increments in office.

I never thought house work to be tiresome. But somehow in this house I am more than normal lazy. But its a wonderful house. Last weekend I was watering the plants and it almost felt like I was in my maternal home. We went to buy some plants and my eyes automatically wandered to the plants which we had in my childhood home. They were costly. And I thought - ''my god these were weeds in our house''. I simply couldn't shell out money for them. I think that was a mistake. The pleasure they give me is tremendous. I remember stories associated with the plants. Fathima akka was the one who brought home the plants. She somehow used to get it from her friends and their mothers. She must have been a marvel because I know sometimes people can be extremely possessive about these plants. Memories and comfort reside in these plants. I should have bought them. I will.
I saw two bees in my garden today and I felt happy.

Salina didi , my cook has come and she is cooking the food. I find it a luxury that I can type when she is cooking. This is actually a luxury because aman is  watching videos today. We get along pretty well and she tells me stories of her home. Sometimes we keep talking and Aman does not like that very much if I an he are alone in the house. He says to didi that if she talks while working, things will fall down. So one should not talk when one is working. That's a clue for me to follow him and do what he wants me to do. And I am happy to do it. However today he is addicted to vedios and I am not in a place to wean him from it.

His chitpa, my youngest brother in law, who is studying here is coming for dinner. So maybe then aman will come out of the Ipad. But the videos he sees are so cute. Have you heard of the song"Have you ever seen a tail? a tail? a pig's tail?" Its a cute one.

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