Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Letters to my Diary 14.03.2017

Dear Diary,
I have been waiting to write to you for some time now. Last week was quite eventful with some sad news as well. And I wanted to share it with you. From where shall I start?
Last last friday, Aman had a holiday. N chittappa offered to baby sit him. Its a testimony of how much Aman had grown that we took the offer. I came a bit early that day to find that the current was not there. Something seemed amiss as it rarely went here. That morning while leaving we had a slight skirmish with the owner of the neighbouring house. Note that the owner didnot live there he had given it for rent to a PG. They were clearing up the stuff in front of their house (and ours where they make a point to dump their stuff). I thought they may have cut the wire mistakenly. However it was a deliberate attempt.
I couldnt believe that some one could do that. It was a criminal act and our landowner asked us to file an FIR. But somehow we felt that it would only cause problems for us. For somebody who had no problem doing this ,would our filing an FIR mount to anything? We did not even get angry or upset as it was such a stupid thing to do really. But the trust we had disappeared somehow. In a way its ok. We really love this house that we are staying. It was too good. So maybe this was the black spot. It took around a day for us to establish a new connection and ofcourse we shelled out the money. However as it was winter transition, the climate was really good and we didnot suffer that much.

Sunday however another news was to come. B ammooma had passed away. Now you know dairy that particular family is pretty special to me. Especially B ammooma. I remembered her comforting presence during my marraige. I remember her looking at me and saying." Simple and Elegant, Kollam" . She was very kind and her loss..... However she had had a great life. But everytime I saw V appoopa .... Their family is kindness epitome and its a privilege to know Appoopa and Ammooma not to say of T mama and S appachi. 

We went to Trivandrum and came. I don't think anybody expected me and aman to go as well. But there are somtimes when one should not think , just do . This was one of those times.

I also realized that I had grown up. I think when we grow up we can compartmentalize things. At one moment I was crying brokenheartedly. At another I was smiling and talking to relatives I had met after a long long time.  And both the feelings were genuine. I remembered a time when I would be consumed by my emotions. If I was sad I was eternally sad.If I was happy I was extremely happy. But now has come a time when I seem to meet happiness and sadness with almost the same feelings, like that sentence in Rudyard Kipling's If.I guess somewhere in the last five years, I had grown up.

But I miss my passionate nature. It must be there somewhere inside me still.... I am sure.

Aman is growing up so fast diary. We played holi this time. Hubby had bought some natural colours. But we played more with water. Aman played like anything with water. He was also joined by two of the neighboring boys. Ofcourse it resulted in him getting a huge nose block. But I guess thats ok. A child has to enjoy the times he has to enjoy rt?

He makes such wonderful hings with his Lego. That's his favorite toy now. I am amazed at his creativity. He always asks us to buy the balloons with the stick. he plays very little with the balloons per se. However the sticks are extremely  valuable for him. He makes cranes and tow trucks. One of his first lego duplo was the ice cream truck given by S appachchi. However he rarely uses it as an icecream truck. He has converted to to tow truck and a heavy duty crane using the above mentioned balloon sticks. I almost wanted to buy him the crane lego but hubby resisted as aman was creating whatever he wanted with his available legos. I see them and I agree.

Aman may not paint or draw like his father or mother. He is not inclined to the finearts. But he shows an aptitude to building and mechanics. And there he creates.

He is not yet four so I have not bothered to sit and teach him anything. But I guess its time for me to invest time in his A B Cs. Not much ofcourse, just a teensy weensy bit. He loves singing itsy bitsy spider. His favourite used to be wheels on the bus goes round and round.... But he still likes it.

I think its become a long enough letter. Tomorrow is Aman's last day in playgroup. I think he is going to KG this march end. There is two weeks holiday. Unfortunately Aman may have to go to daycare. I hate going to office these days when Aman has holidays. I believe children should enjoy during their holidays. Maybe when he is slightly older he will like to go to his grandparents. I wish, I wish I had a job where I could take offs whenever he had. But I should be glad my office is comparatively better than so many others.

I will stop now...
lots of love
Rahmath



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